


Dean's New Life

by SupernaturalLifestyle



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oral Sex, Rape, Romance, Sexual Violence, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-01
Updated: 2013-08-04
Packaged: 2017-12-13 15:21:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/825838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalLifestyle/pseuds/SupernaturalLifestyle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SUMMARY: Dean has been working as a hooker since being a teenager to support his brother. He isn’t able to break up with this life at the age of 30. One night Castiel gives him a lift, but during a police raid they’re both arrested. After this incident they’re going on separate ways, but Dean can’t get Castiel out of his head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The fancy truck turns slowly round the corner. Dean catches sight of it immediately, and realises disappointed, that it isn't HIM.

Since he had that fail date with the man called Castiel, he waited every day, that somehow the man would show up, and they can finish what they started. He never wished it though before with any of his client, there was something in that man he couldn't get rid of. He was thinking about what could have been… all the time.

He can't get out of his head the man's black hair, bright blue eyes, his silky skin, and his soft, long fingers. Every day on the street, he catches himself longing for a new car to show up, and he's disappointed all the time, when realises that it isn't him. Dean's thoughts always wanders elsewhere, and in this business you always have to look for new clients. He misses a lot so far, just like now. Almost. You have to catch the rich ones, and this car looks bloody rich. Telling the truth, richmen usually have strange wishes, but nothing like that that Dean can't comply. There are men, who jerk off while Dean is fucking their wifes. There are ones who want to be bottom – but these are very rare cases in his career – and there are a few who just likes to watch as Dean jerkes off himself. These aren't really pervert things, but payed very well. Extra money always come handy because it means he has to spend less time on the street.

As a matter of fact he doesn't know why he's doing this. He doesn't like it so much. Sam – who is the reason he has started the whole thing – is a prosperous lawyer, and he wanted to offer him a job a few times. Dean didn't accept it. Maybe he doesn't want to depend on anybody, maybe he can hide the fact easier, that he prefers men. It's an unaffected thing that a male hooker satisfies both male and female clients, it doesn't mean they're gay. Well, Dean is gay, altough he denies this fact, sometimes even for himself. He has female patrons, once in a blue moon, and he doesn't enjoy them more than the elderly buisnessmen, who fuck him on the backseat of the family's Volvo.

But somehow he knows he likes men. They aren't putting on a show. They don't want Dean to lie to them how irresistible or how special they are. They just want Dean to give them a blow job, or stay still while they're fucking him. Here's your money, get out! That's all, and Dean doesn't need more. Honestly, he hasn't even enjoyed sex truly in his life. During the few blow jobs he has been given, well, it wasn't all bad, but not the real thing.

The truck stops, the windows of the backseat slowly slides down, and the man, sitting in there points straight at Dean. He is used to this. He is loved. When he started all this he didn't have a rival, he was the first choice every single time. His girlish, nice features became manlike since then, but he didn't lose anything from his charm. That's why he is spotted by his own aged men, not the elder ones. Like this one. He is maybe ten years older than Dean, lean and tall, properly nothing extra, but when he talks, Dean has goosebumps on his nape:

\- I want some extra, Are you in? – his voice is so cold as ice. Cruel and objective.

\- It depends on what you mean on extra.

\- Rough sex. Maybe rougher. I'll pay a lot.

\- How much?

\- 500 $. But I want your mouth, too.

Dean's eyes goes wide. 500 $. He can leave the street for at least a week from this money. How much can a sex be rough? He doesn't really care. He can be gangbanged for that much. He already had a share in hard, emotionless fuck, he was just pushed to the wall, pinned down, and done. At least it was fast.

\- Ok, we can go – he opens the door and gets in.

The truck starts, and Dean doesn't notice the black haired man in a trenchcoat who follows the car with his bright blue eyes, while it goes round the corner of the street.

XXX

The car starts immediately as Dean gets in. The separator window is dark and opaque, which means in Dean's mind that this car has seen a few things before. He sits on the seat a little embarrassed because of the sudden silent, the man doesn't say a word just gazes Dean with a pervert smile on his lips. Then he reaches out with his hands, grabs the back of Dean's neck and starts massaging it.

\- You're gorgeous, you know that? - he asks, but he doesn't really expect an answer. However Dean still has goosebumbs from his voice. There is something threatening in it, something that make Dean feellike his has to get out of this car right the fuck now.

\- Dean – he says, he doesn't even know though why he's telling his real name to this scary dude. He never does this. – Are we gonna do it here, or…

\- No, no, there's not enough space for it in here – responds the men immediatley – and we're not alone. Alastair, by the way.

\- Nice to meet you. Can I get my money?

\- Of course. After we're done.

\- Look, Mr. I usually get my money before.

\- And I usually pay after I got what I wanted. But I can't resist to your preatty face, and I don't wanna risk that you get out of my car, so I give you the half of it now.

\- Deal.

Alastair takes his wallet and Dean can't take off his eyes from it. He's never seen such an amount of money in his life before. The man takes 250 $ from it giving it to Dean , and after he puts back the wallet into his pocket he starts stroking Dean's thigh. Dean stuffs the money into his backpocket, and forces a faint smile on his face. Generally he doesn't feel embarrassed from these kind of actions, but this men bothers him. He kind of scares the shit out of Dean. He stares out of the window, lets his thoughts take him away, and he was there again a few weeks ago in that crappy car, with that awkward little man, who was completely floored from the fact that a hooker sat in his car.

Dean barely notices that the car stops. He looks up, sees a tower block full of luxury flats. Well, the back of the tower, to be exact, because they stand in an alley behind the building. He isn't surprised, of course, that's obvious they don't go in full frontal. None of them say a word while they're heading up to the top of the building. The silent in the elevator starts to annoy Dean. Not as he usually makes deep and 'full of theme' conversations with the clients, but he doesn't spend this much time with them either. He enters the flat behind Alastair and he is amazed. It's a Penthouse! He's never been at such a place like this before, but why would he? He moves in a different social circle. 'All right, let's get work for our money' he thinks, and says:

-Well, how do we start? – he turns around, and he expects everything but what he gets. A hard fist in his face. He feels his mouth cracks, and feels the taste of blood. A second hit follows right after the first, and Dean falls to the ground. For a fleeting moment he doesn't even know what hit him. He glances up and sees the man cresting above him, fists clenched, vicious look in his eyes. Dean looks at him suprised, but already knows that he made a huge mistake. He already knows that rougher sex doesn't mean a little rougher. He has heard about these kind of things, but he always thought that he's smarter than just to run into some shit like this. Well, he isn't.

Alastair leans down and grabs Dean by the collar of his t-shirt. Dean tries to escape, but knows that there's nowhere to run. He tries to get free, hit the man, but Alastair easily shirks and smashes into Dean's face once more. It's too much for him. He goes limp and lets Alastair drag him to the wall, and push him to the thousand dollar wallpaper.

-Work for your money! – he hisses and grab Dean's hair. He tugs up his head to see Dean's face and to Dean sees his. Dean knows what the man wants and that he has to give it to him. He nods surrenderly.

\- Good boy! Take off your shirt! – Dean obeys without a word but his whole body is shaking. Alastair admires his naked bust with eager eyes while gripping his shoulder and digging his fingernails into his skin. -Your body is beautiful. You know what comes next, right?

Dean nods again and undoes Alastair's zipper with shaking hands. As he looses the man's already half hard member, he grabs Dean's both wrists and pins them to the wall above his head. He pushes his dick into Dean's mouth without any hesitation. Dean closes his eyes and lets Alastair fuck his mouth. Alastair moves slowly and rhytmically while he moans loudly in his strange nasal twang. Dean is choking, sometimes retching as the tip of Alastair's shaft is being pushed down on his throat. His wrists hurt, they are pushed to the wall with so much force that Dean almost feels as his bones are cracking. He groans with bated breath, he can barely breathe and his head starts to feel dizzy. But Alastair doesn't stop. He can last long. After a several minutes, what feel like hours, Dean tries to free himself from the mans grasp, though he knows that his „employer" won't like it. It's against the rules. But Dean can't take it any longer, this penis in his mouth. He tries to move his wrist but no purpose. Alastair pined them to the wall with iron grip, and as he feels Dean's effort to escape he pushes them down with even more pleasure.

And just when he feels like giving up and passing out, Alastair pulls out his dick from his mouth and looses the grip on his wrists. He reaches down, grabs Dean's chin and lifts his head. The trails of the slaps are already visible on Dean's face. His mouth is cracked, still bleeding, obviously the action of the last half hour didn't do anymore good for his sour lips. His cheek is puffed-up under his eyes, and the whole right side of his face is dull red. And his gaze…well it shows nothing but pain and despair. And that's exactly what Alastair wants to see.

That's what he uses his money for, to be able to do this. He spends a remarkable amount of his wealth to satisfy this aberration of his, to torture, break and rape handsome, young men. But torture and rape isn't allowed by the laws of the United States, not even for millionaires, so that's the point where the fabulous wealth and male hookers come to sight. Dean isn't the first one who receives the honour that Alastair wants him for himself, but definitely has the best mouth of all. Alastair has already made the decision that he will keep Dean, whatever it takes. But first things first. He's gonna enjoy this round. There is no time-limit in the 500$, and he can last long. Very long.

Dean sees the lust in his tormentor's eyes, caused by his look, racked with pain, and this fact doesn't calm him. Panic slowly overwhelms him as Alastair says:

\- Get up! – he speaks in a low town, but his voice doesn't let any defiance. Despite of this, Dean doesn't move. He wants to but he can't He doesn't want anymore punch to the face, because it hurts like hell, and after all, he lives from his features. – I said get up! – Alastair starts to lost his patience and leans over Dean menacingly.

\- Okay, okay! Calm down, I'm standing. – Dean stands up, his numb limbs hurt, but he bolts up in front of Alastair nonetheless. He is tall, taller than Dean, but leaner, altough there's something threatening in him, what makes Dean feel he rather does everything for him just to not to make him angry. He is afraid of him.

\- Pants off! – Dean hasitates for a second, earning a backhanded slap across his face. It hit him right in the same spot like the last one, and it already throbs from the pain. Dean groans loudly and starts to undo his pants immediately. Takes off his shoes, socks, and kicks off his denim. He stands there stark naked in front of the man who almost salivates from the sight. Dean isn't used to this either. Usually the whole transaction doesn't last this long, including the solicitation and payment. He never bothers with taking off his clothes, only pushes down the jeans to his knees, and that's all. Clients don't want to indulge in Kama Sutra with him.

Alastair's gaze stops on Dean's chest, on the old pentagram tattoo. He smirks mockingly, and grabs Dean by his shoulder, swings him around and then shoves him against the wall. Dean startles as all the air escapes from his lungs. Alastair grips his wrists again, and pins Dean's arms and whole body with the weight of his own down. Dean feels the man's stone-hard dick somewhere in the middle of his ass as Alastair leans closer, hissing into his ear:

\- You're gonna enjoy it!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alastair keeps torturing Dean.

You're gonna enjoy it! – Well, Dean really doubts it, but doesn't argue. Alastair kisses his neck and bites hard into his skin. Dean cries out from the pain, trise to fight, get out of Alastair's grip, but the man – despite of his lean body – is very strong. He keeps Dean pinned to the wall with almost some supernatural power, as he's biting the spot where his neck meets his shoulder. Dean's eyes are forming tears by the time Alastair stops. 'When will he stop all this?' he thinks, and Alastair, like he would be able to read Dean's mind, whispers in his ear:

\- We barely started it, beauty. – And shoves his dick into Dean without any warning, streching or lube with so much force, that Dean cries out again, and presses his forehead to the wall, closing his eyes.

It hurts like hell. Not that he's never felt pain before during his work, but he was used to it, or used some lube. But this one wants to cause him pain, and does everything for it.

Alastair stayes still for a few seconds, with his dick up to the hill in Dean's ass, and then starts to move. Nice and slow, taking his time to enjoy every single spot on this boy's body. He feels his resistance in the begining, but he already gave up now, and shivers while Alastair slams into him more and more forcefully. He's starting to really enjoy it. It has been only a game so far, a foreplay literally, but now, it's pure pleasure. He enjoys the fuck itself, too, this boy is professional, it looks on him, despite of his lack of move, but his pain, it worths more than everything! The harder and faster he shoves his dick into him, the more Dean's body tenses, and shudders, his sigh drowns into sob, and Alastair knows, that tears are pouring down on his cheeks. That arosues Alastair more than he can imagine, and feels he's close to climax. And he wants to see him. Wants to see the suffering, the pain and fear on his face. He wants to see his power!

\- I hope you're enjoying it, you miserable little fuck, - hisses into his ears - because I ain't done with you yet!

Dean closes his eyes and swallows. He doesn't know if he can take this any longer. The 500$ doesn't make him happy far far away. He shakily let Alastair fuck him hard, while his own dick is painfully pressed to the wall. After a while Alastair let Dean's arms go, and pulls him from the wall. He cluthes Dean's neck with one arm, and drags him towards the bed, his member still in Dean. As they reach the kingsize bed, Alastair pulls out, and turns Dean to be in face of him, watching the boy's face with a sneer smile. Dean knows that Alastair is turned on, and not from the fuck, and from this fact he turns into panic mode immediately. Alastair shoves him roughly on the bed, dumps on him, pinning down his hands above his head. Dean feels like his bones are already bruised from the grasp alone.

\- Stop ….. please! – his voice breaks as he looks at Alastair with pleading eyes. This is only oil on the fire though. Alastair's groin is throbing with so much force, it felt almost unbearable. He wants this boy, the whole of him, wants to tear him into parts, and fuck him for a very long time and make him beg for the end. But he knows it won't come out now. He wanted none of the boys so much like this one. He shivers under him, his green eyes are full of fear, and the tears are running down on his cheek to the silk sheet, the freckles stand out on his face. Alastair bents down, wanting to kiss him, but Dean turns his head.

\- You still don't know your place, do you? – He isn't angry. He just says the facts however Dean knows, he's gonna punish him. Alastair penetrates him more violently and roughly than ever so far. Dean doesn't scream now. He bites his bottom lip, what makes the blood trickle again. He closes his eyes, and suffers dumbly, he just moans silently when Alastair starts slamming into him with so much force, he almost loses his mind from the pain. And then it flashes. A pair of blue eyes, an old trenchcoat and a face which recalls memories, and steals the pain for a little while. For a few minutes he doesn't hear Alastair's grunts and the snaps as his hips shove to Dean's ham. He just sees the flustered smile on the face which hunts him from their first meeting. But this stillness doesn't last long.

\- Open your eyes! – The rough voice rushes away the calming images, and leaves only the darkness. – Open your eyes, I wanna see them! – But Dean doesn't want to. He shakes his head and whispers no. Alastair still fucks him cadently but his voice becomes tough. – I said open your eyes! I want you to look at me when I come!

Dean feels somehow that he has to obey. He opens his eyes, and feels dizzy when sights Alastair, convulsed with lust. He knows, it won't take long now, but he's scared from the sequel.

Alastair releases Dean's hands and grabs his throat. He's pounding into him with animalistic instinct and Dean starts to give up the fight. His visions goes blurry and the room starts spinning around. He hears Alastair - as if under the water - shouting at him: „Look at me! In the eye!" He tries to obey but his lungs run out of air, and the other squeezes his throat more and more forcefully, moves faster and faster until he blasts out as a vulcano, his whole body shudders as comes howling into Dean.

Dean feels like a tatter. As he is. Alastair stays still on him for a few seconds, then climbs down and barks at him:

\- Dress up!

Dean wants nothing better than this, he stays on his back though, layed down as Alastair left him, with sprawled legs, his hands still above his head. He can't move just pants there, trying to cast out the pain piercing his whole body. He doesn't move for minutes, then he lifts his arm with a groan, his wrists are aching from the pain. He slowly closes his legs, feels that it bleeds down there, and his thighs are almost out of their sockets. Every single move is a torture. But he has to move. Has to dress up and get the fuck away from this fucking penthouse, as long as he has the chance. Honestly he wonders that he is still alive. When Alastair grabbed his throat he was sure, that he's gonna die. Slowly he turns on his side, hunched up like a child and tries not to sob from the pain and humilitate. He sits up and his head turns for a second. He grabs the side of the sheet and tries to hold in his nausea. And then he feels that Alastair – as in the begining of this nightmare, down in the car – grabs the back of his neck and squeezes it. Dean flinches to the touch.

\- That was very exiting, don't you thing? You're very delicious, I enjoyed every single part of you. – He slowly smoothes up and down on Dean's back and grips into his short hair. – I want to repeat it. What do you think? – 'What do I think? Screw yourself, that's what I think. Up yours, you sadistic animal!'

\- Maybe some other time. – Dean's voice shivers. If there is something he is sure about, is that he never gets into a richman's car ever again, offer him any number of money. He forces a smile to Alastair and slowly, very slowly he rises up from the bed, grabs his clothes and dresses up. His hand is almost on the door-knob when Alastair's voice stops him:

\- Don't you want your money?

Dean turns around to see the satisfied grin on Alastair's face, as he flutters 5 pieces of a 50 dollar bill. He would like to walk out the door without the money, but he is a whore after all, lives from the cash as anybody else. He lets Alastair close the gap between them and the closer he comes, Dean's body tenses more and more. Without a word Dean lets Alastair to dug the money into the pocket of his jeans, and the man grabs his cock through the fabric of the pocket. Dean's eyes falls, he swallows and doesn't move. He prays to himself that this sadistic fucker not to be turned on again, and let him go finally.

His prayer is heard. Alastair pulls out his hands from Dean's pocket, and pats his cheek.

\- I'll contact you. – says, and turns his back to Dean, never looks at him anymore. Dean finally exits the penthouse.

He falls on his knees as soon as he steps out on the back door and pukes everything out. He feels miserable just like the junk of garbage in the containers on the street. He ought to be in there. He's just a piece of trash, which is used and then thrown away. There no doubt about it. He tempers himself. He won't cry, not so much. He gets his money eventually, his bruises will heal. He will take a rest for a few days, can let it himself from the 500 bucks, and then the life goes on. He's gonna avoid this pshyco, but everything goes on. He slowly stands up and walks out of the alley leaning against the wall. He steps out to the busy road and the blood runs out of his face as he sees the truck with open doors. The driver stands next to the car.

\- Come on kid, I'll take you home. – The sympathy in the driver's voice is obvious, Dean knows that propably he doesn't do it for command, he just wants to help him. A little bit late.

\- Fuck you! – He spits out with grated theeth and slowly steps by him, goes out doubled to the street and takes a taxi.  
>

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a lot more, I hope you enjoyed it.  
> Reviews are always welcome.  
> Thanks.


	3. Chapter 3.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finally meets Castiel.

Dean stayes at home in the next three days. On the one hand he’s face is full of blue and green bruises. No way he could be picked up like this. Maybe only by the freeks, who turn on from this sight but they can do a favour. On the other hand his one and only jobholder hole hurts like hell, he can barely sit. He didn’t dare to take a look at it in the mirror, but he assumes it cuts a sorry figure. He doesn’t take the risk of injuring it more. He rather rests, there is plenty from the 500 $ for a short vacation. The whole money has been lying on the nightstand though since that night. 

Honestly he is able to work without his ass, he has a very attractive mouth, too. He could tell the clients that he assumes only blow jobs for a few days, but the first reason he doesn’t want to go out is not the pain. It’s the fear. He’s terrified from Alastair showing up and does the same again.

He’s suffering from nightmares for three days, he slept maybe 8 hours altogether. He closes his eyes and Alastair’s grinning face appears immediately. He feels his breath on his nape as he whispers how misreable little fuck he is. He always vomits as he jerks awake. There is no food stayes in him, he really looks like crap. Despite of all this, on the fourth day he decides to go out on the street. He doesn’t want to miss one more day, more chance to meet Castiel. Maybe he was there while he wasn’t, and he went away with someone else just because he couldn’t find him. Why wouldn’t he choose anyone else after all? He’s not Dean’s property. ’What the hell is with this dude? Get him out of your fucking brain before going crazy.’ But he doesn’t want to. The world always is a little bit coloured when he thinks of Castiel. But why? He didn’t even touch him. Not even his cock. ’Oh, fuck my life!’

As he reaches his „place” all the guys come to him asking what happened to him. He keeps friends with the others despite of he takes away a lot client from them. Now, they see Dean’s face and they saw him three days ago, as he got in to that fancy truck. Dean creates a story lack of the horrible and too humilitating parts. He says in a couple of words, that the guy hit him a few times then fucked his mouth and that’s all. But if they want good for themselves, then avoid him. He feels himself trash again, because the guys has the right to know what threat that car means, but he can’t bring himself to explain it. He doesn’t want them to see how pathetic worm he is. He would like to spit on himself by choice.

He doesn’t have to wait for long for the first hook. It was a grim dude around 45 walking to him. He puts his hand on his shoulder as they make the deal. The intimate movement bothers Dean, but doesn’t resist. He tells the man that he assumes only blowjobs for today, and the man accepts it grudgingly. Dean would have been proud before, that the man chose him despite of that he wasn’t desposed to fuck, but now he doesn’t even want to suck. He wants Cas. But this man is not him.  
They stoll over to the nearest alley, as usual, where the man leans against the wall, and pulls down his zipper. Dean lowers on his knees, closes his eyes and flies somewhere else while he’s doing his job. Suddenly he feels that the men pushes him away, and pulls him up by his arm.

\- I changed my mind. I wanna fuck you.

\- Dude, I told you I don’t do fuck now. You said you’re in, so let me finish and I vanish.

-Don’t be kidding me, boy, I paid you.

\- Yeah, for a blowjob not for hanky-panky. Especially not for both. So let me finish or get the fuck out of here. – Dean isn’t affraid. Not from this little prick. There is still a little self-respect left in him, and he can defend himself.

In most cases he could. But now, he is focusing somewhere else. He doesn’t notice the viper under this little douchebag’s sleeve. He just feels that something hits him hard on his ear and he crashes to the floor. He feels as the guy rakes over his pockets and take away his money. He doesn’t defy, he is glad he got off lightly. He doesn’t keep more money, only what he got from the jerk, and he didn’t finish the blowjob, so that can be a complainant case. Period. He slowly sits up and feels that blood trickles from his ear. He pushes his palm to it. Great. What’s next?

\- Dean? – He freezes from the voice. He hasn’t heard it for a very long time, but he recognizes it. He suddenly feels himself limp, blood runs out of his head, and even his toes go numb from the faster heartbeating. He doesn’t even feel the pain. He slowly turns towards the voice, and there he is. Him! In his worn trenchcoat, with the loose tie, dark, bed-style hair and blue eyes. The street light comes through from behind as if an angel had been seen. Dean can’t say a word, just blinks to the man.  
\- Are you alright? – He asks with gravely voice.

\- Uhm...yes... I think. Just an unsatisfied client.That’s how they complain.

\- Do you remember me?

\- I guess – wow, such a lie – Castiel, right?

\- Yes. Are you free now?

Dean’s heart skips a beat. He is longing for nothing more than this man for weeks, on the other hand he is longing for him, but with different conditions. He calms himself soon. ‘What the hell were you thinkin’, you idjit? He comes here and asks you to move in, or what? Stop this fuckin’ shit and be professional, for God’s sake!’

\- Give me a minute, and I’ll be ready. - He stills himself on the pavement and tries to stand up, but the alley is spinning with him. He feels dizzy from the smack on his head, and from the fact, that what he’s been waiting for for weeks, is already happening. He is not pleased though.

\- Wait, I’m helping – Cas jumps to Dean promptly and helps him standing up. Dean feels like he’s schocked as Cas touches him. He feels something he didn’t do for a very long time. He starts to tingle. He glances at the man and smiles emberassed.

\- I’ve been looking for you for a few days. – says Castiel.

\- Uhm... I had a rest for a bit.

\- The other boys tell me that you’re here but don’t take on everything. Are you fine?

\- Of course. I always have a current HIV test.

\- That’s not what I mean. Do you feel good? – Dean doesn’t exactly understand the question. Noone ever cares about if he feels good or not. Except his brother but he’s family, so worrying for him is on his daily schedule. But all the others don’t give a rat’s ass about his feelings. How does he feel? Like shit, trash, but it’s not of their business. And this dude is one of them. Just a client, so it’s time to treat him like that.

\- Sure, everything’s pitchy. So, is a blowjob enough? Because I know I owe you one but not today, really, OK? You got the suck for cheaper and in a couple of days we can go further. Is that good for you?  
\- Of course, as it good for you.

\- It is for me.

\- Then me too.

\- Okay then.

\- Good.

Dean feels that this conversation is getting really dumb. They stares each other in silent for a second. As those deep blue eyes pierce into his green ones, he definitely feels that something moves inside of him. And it was .... pleasure.  
\- You want it here or go elsewhere?

\- Go. Here’s my car.

\- Last time it wasn’t a lucky charm, was it? – Dean smiles as memories come to life.

\- No, not really. By the way… how did you get out?

\- My brother’s a lawyer, he got me out.

\- Really? You didn’t say that.

\- Why would I?

\- I don’t know, just …. Whatever.

When they reach the car, Dean feels some kind of calmness as he sits in. He doesn’t feel that threatening fear, what he felt a few days ago, as he sat in Alastair’s car. He doesn’t feel that unconcern he usually does when he makes a deal with someone. He is excited now, hardly can wait for something to happen.

\- Let’s go to my place - says Castiel, and Dean thinks he hears it wrong. To where? His place? That’s definitely the first time when somebody takes him to his place. Except the case three days ago.

\- As you wish.

Castiel doesn’t live too far, none of them say a word though until they reach the house. The vibrations between them is obvious.  
Castiel’s flat is a regural, everyday bachelor flat. It isn’t crappy, but it isn’t modern either. Exactly like the one which is used only for sleeping in. It is clean though, and neat in every inch of it. Dean takes off his shoes as they entered. He feels like he has to take it off, showing his respect with it. Castiel smiles and guides him into the room with his hand on Dean’s lower back.

\- What would you like me to do? – this is a rutin question, but this is awkward now. It sounds amateur.

Cas doesn’t say a word, just drops his coat and steps to him. His face is only inches from Dean’s. He takes Dean’s jacket and pulls off of him very gently. Dean shivers and the move makes goosebumps all over his body. But this is a pleasurable feeling this time. Moreover, it’s specifically, friggin’ pleasurable. As Castiel pulls his jacket off, his fingers slides down on Dean’s arm. His hands are soft and silky and Dean wants to kiss him and topple him right in this exact moment. But he never kisses a client and always keeps the rule: who pays, calls the shots.

Cas drops Dean’s jacket and runs his fingers through Dean’s hair at his nape. Dean shuts his eyes. ’Oh my God!’ Cas leans so close to him that for a brief moment he thinks Cas wants to kiss him, but the man goes lower and kisses his neck, right on the spot where Alastair bit him. His skin is still purple and green, but Cas’ mouth is softer than his fingers, and he slowly starts massaging it with his lips. Then he parts his lips, sticks out his tongue and lets it slide down toward his shoulder. 

Dean’s knees are trembling and a low moan escapes his throat. His cock is fully hard now. Castiel reahes down and takes hold on Dean’s shirt. Dean holds his arms up without a word and lets Cas pull it off of him. Dean lowers himself to his knees, but Cas stops him and hauls him back up.

\- Lie on the bed – he says softly, answering to Dean questioning look. He doesn’t really understand the situation, sits on the bed though and lies on his back. Cas looks into his eyes without blinking during the whole time he looses his tie, takes off his shirt and pants and leans above Dean stark naked. He is so close to Dean, he feels the men’s warm breath on his cheeks. Castiel is totally calm and smiles faintly to Dean. He realizes he wants to kiss him very much. But he can’t. Noone wants to kiss someone who had another dude’s dick in his mouth just half an hour ago. And then Cas does something which makes Dean totally confused. Castiel kisses Dean’s forehead. Kisses his forehead and slowly starts to slide down toward his hips. He keeps his mouth and tounge on Dean’s body all the way down, and kisses his chest, his flat belly, starting to loose the belt of his jeans.

\- Uhm …. Cas? What are you doing? – He asks, because there were precedents when a client sucked him, but it’s really rare and not so…. Intense.

\- Ssshhh, just stay still – he whispers into Dean’s navel.

\- But I’m the one who has to ... so, I… you…

\- And I’m the one, who pays, so you have to do what I say. And I want you to stay still, and enjoy. – Verifying his words, he places his palm on Dean’s chest and pushes him back on the pillow.

Dean drops his head back and swallows hardly. He feels himself clumsy and awkward, he doesn’t even know where to put his hands. He is waiting with trembling excitement until Cas unbottons his pants, pulls them off and throws down the floor nearby the bed. Dean’s cock is rock-hard by then when Castiel smiles at him, and swallows him down. It feels like Heaven. Even better. He’s flushed by so undescribable pleasure, he doesn’t even suspect it exists. He moans loud as Cas’ mouth starts sliding up and down on his shaft. He grabs the sheet and let the blast take him down. It doesn’t last long though.

\- Cas – he groans. He wants to warn Cas, that he can’t take anymore and comes soon. – Cas, I… - but instead of an answer he moves faster until Dean – tearing the sheets convulsively - comes into his mouth.

His body relaxed, he’s panting and blinking, trying to keep his focus on Cas. Almost all the blood ran out of his brain, he feels dizzy and ashamed.

\- My turn – he sits up, grabs Cas’ hard cock, trying to bring him down on his back. However Cas takes both of his wrists, pulls his hand away from his groin and pushes Dean back to the bed, while he pins both arms above his head. Softly but forceful. Dean hisses as Cas squeezes his wrists. He still wears the bruises from that night and bad memories run through his mind.  
\- Cas don’t…- he whimpers. – Please, let me go!

Cas looks deeply into his eyes and let his hands go. He smoothes along his arm, chest and none of them breaks the eye-contact. Dean thinks he saw such beautiful sight never in his life. The man smiles all along and there is something in his smile what keeps Dean calm. He preoccupies into this feeling which is unknown for him, so much, he barely hears when Castiel talks:   
\- Dean, close your eyes.

\- I don’t want to!

\- Trust me, I’m not gonna hurt you.

\- Yeah, I know, and I do trust you. But I wanna see you!

\- You will. I’m not going anywhere. But now, close your eyes.

Dean obeys and feels as cas bents over him and goes down again. He feels his breath on his chest as Cas’ soft mouth touches one of his nipples, before he sticks out his tongue and starts sucking it passionately. Dean’s body tenses, and he already knows now what to do with his hands. He touches Cas’ hair, and it is as silky as his skin, his mouth. He runs his fingers through it and enjoyes the curls between them. He slides one of his hands to Cas’ neck, his shoulders, down his back and towards his butt. Cas sighs when Dean starts stroking his cheeks, and Dean feels he’s hardening again. Cas’s licking Dean’s other nipple, and then lets it go with a sudden move and sits back on his heels. He strokes down on Dean’s chest and belly, and put his hands on his inner thigh and pushes them apart.

\- Cas, don’t! – Dean opens his eyes, and as he sights Castiel, he doesn’t even know why he resists. There is nothing he’s longing for more than feeling this man inside of him. But that was just three days ago, and he doubts that he’s able to enjoy an other penetration, even if it’s such gentle as Cas is.

\- I’ll pay it for you – says Cas quietly.

\- No, it’s not that … you don’t have to. – Dean feels ashamed. He doesn’t want to handle Cas as a client, and he doesn’t want Cas to treat him like a whore either. He wants to be his lover. His love.

\- I’m not gonna hurt you.

\- I know.

-I’ll be gentle.


	4. Chapter 4

Cas puts some lube on his fingers and gently starts to caress Dean’s hole. He rubs it more and more forcefully, then slides in one finger. Dean’s body tenses, a low moan escapes his throat, and slips himself onto Cas’ second finger. Cas knows that the boy doesn’t feel pain, only pleasure. Just as he does. Cas watches Dean’s shapely body, beautiful face which those green eyes and the freckles on his nose make more perfect. He doesn’t know how Dean made a hold on him so much, but he was yearning for him for weeks. He could think of only this boy since they were both dragged out of that car. He went his place a lot of times, but somehow they always missed each other. Like three days ago, when he saw Dean got into a truck.  
But now, finally he found him, he’s here, and he can make his dreams come true. He slowly starts to slide in and out his fingers and his cock becomes harder and harder from the voices Dean lets out.  
He moans and whimpers, his voice is shaking as he says:

\- Cas, fuck me!

Cas smiles again, and fingers Dean further, who falls back on the pillow, his body arches. Cas thinks to himself, that if he doesn’t fuck this guy right here and now, the sight itself would be satisfying. The hunger for love and care radiates from him, and Cas’s gonna give him all these now. This feeling is undescribable.

\- Lay face down – Cas commands and Dean obeys without a word. He turns as Cas told while the man’s fingers are still inside him. He lays down on his stomach, feeling that Cas pushes a pillow under his hips. He waits shakily for Cas to penetrate him. He isn’t affraid, knows he won’t feel pain, and trusts blindly in Cas. Cas pulls out his fingers and lays onto Dean with his whole body. Dean feels Cas’s hard dick as it was trapped between the two of them. Cas slips both of his arms under Dean’s armpits, and holds him tight. And pushes in.

\- Awh, Cas ….. Jesus – This feeling is totally unknown for Dean, his whole body trembles, his voice breaks, and when Cas pushes all of his shaft inside him he feels his own dick hardening again. Every blood runs out of his brain and he feels such a rapture he felt never in his entire life. And then Castiel starts moving. He holds Dean down tight with the weight of his body so Dean can feel every little movement, every little tremble of Cas muscles.  
Then Cas picks up a pace and Dean moans gratefully with each thrust. He feels as Cas sits up leaving uncovered his body, and feels the sweatdrops from Cas’ hair falling down on his back, as he starts pounding into him with more and more force. He knows that Cas stopped smiling now, and he wants to see his face.

 

\- I wanna see your face – says Cas still keeping the pace as slams into Dean further. He wants to see Dean’s face, see the pleasure on it, as it strains from lust, his forehead as sweatdrops trickle down on his temple, but he can’t stop pushing into him, not even for that few seconds until Dean turns around. When Dean pushes himself up to his hands and knees, Castiel grabs Dean’s hips and countinues fucking into him with forceful thrusts. He enjoys that Dean is half unconscious from the rapture. His moans become cries his sighs become gasps by now. Cas pulls Dean up by his arms, so Dean’s back now nuzzles up to Cas’ chest. He stops shoving, only holds Dean tight and kisses all over the back of his neck. They keep still in this embrace for a few seconds, than Cas lets Dean go who lays down on his back and doesn’t wait for Cas to push back into him, he slides down onto his cock immediately. Cas moans loudly, squeezes Dean’s hips and starts fucking him lazily again. Dean’s face is strained from pleasure, he is still beautiful though. Cas goes under in Dean’s hazel eyes as he keeps his gaze on the man. Like he never wants to look elsewhere. And Castiel feels the same.

 

Dean wants to stay like this forever. He sees nothing but the depth of Castiel’s blue eyes, and feels nothing but 100% pure pleasure. When Cas’ breath starts quickening his full body drifts in sweat and Dean knows he doesn’t take too much longer. He bents his knees, grabs Cas’s buttocks to make Castiel push his dick further inside him. Cas is fully in Dean and as his cock finds Dean’s prostate with each thrust, Dean knows he’s on the egde. He lasted that long. He cries out and in exactly the same moment Cas’ back arches and with satisfied moans he cums into Dean. He shoves a few more into him and falls onto Dean’s body. As soon as Cas body relaxes on Dean, the boy wreathes both arms around Cas’ shuddering body. They’re both panting and gasping their chests strain to each other. In a few minutes Cas lifts up his head and leans on his hands on both side of Dean’s body. He looks straight into his eyes and without hasitation he kisses him deeply, firmly still gently. 

As soon as Cas’ lips reaches his, Dean feels that this is the most wonderful moment in his whole pathetic life. Cas’ lips is unbelievably soft, his tongue is hot and tasty, he can’t get enough of it. He knows that something changes now and his life so far is over, something new begins. He doesn’t know for sure if Cas wants him or not, but he’s sure that he won’t be able to continue this life. Now that he experiances the feeling of being handle as a partner and not a property, he can’t give himself to someone who treats him like trash. The dirt of his old life comes down on him so hard, he starts crying.

\- Dean? - Cas looks at him stunned. Here they are, he just kissed the man, he was longing in his whole life, and he starts to cry on this. - What’s the matter?

\- Nothing, no problem at all – Dean regrets his weakness immediatley. – I’m just…. Very, very tired.

Cas watches him as Dean lays back down on the pillows and his eyes are closing right away. Cas runs his fingers into Dean’s short hair, and strokes his face.

\- Cas – Dean opens his eyes and looks at him – would you mind if I rest here a few minutes? I’ll put myself together straightaway, and I’ll go, just let me …. rest …..a little.

\- Sleep, Dean – says Cas, and as soon as he finishes the sentence Dean’s head tilts sideway and he’s already sleeping.

 

Castiel is watching Dean as he sleeps in his bed. The boys face mirrors peace and calm, he sleeps utterly deeply, his arms spread wide like he feels himself fully in safe. Because he is. Cas is sitting nearby the bed for hours, staring at him like he can’t believe that it’s true. He barley dare to twinkle because he’s affraid of he would vanish. He knows since their first met that they were made for each other. He sweared then that if he found him he wouldn’t let him go and would take care of him. Like an angel.  
He admires every little spot on Dean’s body, his arms, and everything on his face. He is perfect. Almost. Cas leans above Dean slowly and quetly not to wake him up, and take out the earring from Dean’s ear. ’Now, he’s perfect.’  
Dean wakes up in a few hours and smiles at Cas. His smile is so careless, happy and so true that Cas knows he wants to wake up with seeing this smile on every single day for the rest of his life.  
He leans closer and kisses him. Dean laughs and in this moment the first rays of the Sun come through the window and shine the room brightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter, but there would be a lot more, pain and pleasure, angst and love. Just tell me if I should continue.  
> The last sentence is about Dean’s smile, we always say that when he smiles the Sun comes out. Sunshine boy. 


	5. Chapter 5.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few months later. Dean and Cas already live together, slowly knowing each other. Dean left the street and works on a building-site.

He is finally at home. He throws the key on the table and falls down tired on the couch. He isn’t used to a whole-day physical work. He was fitting cars with his father when he was a kid, but being a factory hand in bulding-trade is a very different thing. It needs no qualification or expertise just shape. Dean only has this one, a very strong shape. He has earned his money with this lately , just in different speciality.

Cas offered him to work in his bookstore but Dean denied it immediately. Once: he knows that Cas’ second hand bookshop isn’t able to support to employees , second: probably he would die from boredom. He adores Cas, and as Cas adores his store, books and job, but it’s not his business. He wants to be in the open air, maybe he’s used to this because of his job so far. He can’t sit in a shop all day between stuffy, old books. He’s rather clinching and sawing at a building site. 

He takes off his dirty clothes, put on a sweat-pants and a t-shirt, opens a bottle of beer and sits in front of the TV. He puts his bare feet ont the coffe table, because he knows Cas is working late at night. Their so called ’Honeymoon’ delayed a bit, so Cas falled off with renovating the books.

He’s awake to a knock on the door. Suddenly he doesn’t know where he is, he didn’t even realize he fell asleep. The beer is still in his hands. ’Uh, if it pours out now, Cas’ gonna kill me.’ He stands up and starts touching the carpet if he finds any beerstain on it. He totally forgets about the knock on the door. The second one is more unpatient almost like banging.  
Dean lifts his head and stands up slowly as he can’t believe what he hears. They’re living in this flat for two months now, but noone comes to visit them ever so far. Then the thought of Cas may left his keys in the shop runs through his mind. It’s possible after all, he doesn’t even know what the time is, or how long he was sleeping.

He rushes to the door and opens it. The blood runs out of his face and he feels the whole room is spinning with him. The sight of Alastair is scared him so much that he starts to back instead of shuting the door.

\- Hello Dean – greets Alastair and he enters the room with a vicious grin on his face, closing the door behind himself.

He can’t take his eyes off of Dean. He is much more beautiful than he rememberd. The boy took on some weight in the last few month but mostly on his muscles. His face blossomed, his eyes shine bright and his whole body radiates happiness. But not now. Now he looks like exactly the same way as Alastair wants to see him. Frightened and defenceless. He watches smiling as Dean backs until the wall behind stops him.

\- So that’s where you’re hiding, right? – he askes and looks around in the small flat scornfully. – I’m looking for you on the street for a very long time. And I find you at one of my buliding operations. That must be fate. I was wondering what talented little Dean was doing on a building site at daytime when he has to be on the street at night. So I was doing some reserach and had to find that Dean left the street and schacked up with a boring bookseller.

\- What do you want from me?

\- That’s the 2000$ question! And the answer is still very simple. You!

Alastair observes as desperation sits out on Dean’s face, and his dick in his pants starts to prickle from this sight. He slowly walks to him, confidently, because he knows that he terrified the boy so much last time, he can do anything he wants to him now. With every step Alastair takes and gets closer to Dean, he presses himself more and more to the wall, like he would want to melt into the concrete. Alastair raises his hands to touch Dean’s face, he’s almost trembling with excitement, he wants to see him for so long, his freckled cheeks, green eyes, his perfect face. And he knows, that the boy is his now, he branded him, and Dean can run but cannot hide from him wherever he may go. He just left out from his countings that Dean is not alone anymore. He is not a defenseless, lost soul, and he has something, someone to fight for. As Alastair enters into his personal space, Dean’s fist swings, and with one quick and hard move, he strikes a blow to the elder man’s jaw. Alastair loses his ballance and falls upon the couch. When he raises his eyes, he sees Dean standing by the wall manfully, his fists clenching, he sees no despair and fear in his eyes, just anger and determination. And he doesn’t like it. At all. He streightens, wipes off the blood from his mouth, and his face turns into a vicious grin.

\- Dean, Dean, Dean! That’s not the behavior I expected from my favorite. Violance makes more violance, you know.

\- I can say the same, you sadistic prick! – Dean gets more and more angrier. His abjection from the last time comes topside and he knows he has to do something this time. – Get out off my home you son of a bitch!

\- Or else? You call Daddy to protect you? Prince Castiel appears on a white horse and saves his little princess? – Alastair knows that his words hit the target. He researched after Dean enough to know everything about him, and know how to corner him.

\- Sure enough Deano, I know everything about your precious little Castiel. I’ve been watching you for weeks. I know when and where he is, what he does. He has a pretty little store. Sooo many combustible books in there. The street isn’t always safe either for a late night walking you must know that the best. You don’t want your little love gets hurt, don’t you?

\- Don’t you dare touch him! – rage still burns in Dean, but his words doesn’t seem so threatening like before. Alastair knows, he already won. – Get the hell out of here!

\- Alright Dean! – Alastair puts up his hands surrenderly, and turns his back to Dean. – Don’t you take your eyes off of your little Castiel, he might gets hurt in the end. And there can be accidents with the gainful pretty store, too. Oh, and Dean…you’re fired. So when you’ll have no money to live, I’ll find you on the street anyway.

Therewith he starts walking towards the door.

\- Wait! – Dean’s voice catches him up in the corridor. Alastair smiles to himself sarky as he turns around. And the sight was priceless. Dean stands there, leaning to the wall, defeated, his eyes glisten, but not from happiness now. His voice is shaking when he says barely audible:

\- I’ll do it.

\- And what exactly – asks Alastair, though it was the part of torturing Dean already.

\- Whatever you want. I won’t fight. Moreover I’ll do my best. But you can’t hurt him! And vanish forever.

\- I don’t know Dean, I don’t really agree with this last part. This past few month was quite hard without you. But maybe I’ll content myself with sweet little Cas, too.

\- Screw you! – spits Dean with grated teeth. – I’ll do what you want, just don’t hurt him! Please!

Alastair’s dick starts hardening as Dean tells the last words. The boy is already begging. Not craving yet, but this is just the beginning, it gets better.  
He strolls over to Dean with a smile on his lips. He’s gonna make a test with him. He sees as Dean presses more into the wall as he gets closer. Alastair closes the gap between them and tries to kiss him, but Dean turns his face. Alastair grabs his jaw and turns his head back to be right in front of his. Dean glares straight into Alastair’s eyes, in his green ones hate glows, he grabs the man’s nape though and kisses him. Firmly with closed mouth, so much force it almost hurts. After a few seconds Alastair breaks the kiss, steps back and back-hands Dean, who loses his ballance and falls on his knees in front of Alastair’s feet.

\- Good boy – hisses Alastair, therewith he grabs Dean’s throat and starts lifting him up.

 

Dean already had an idea about what comes now, but it’s hard to prepare himself to it. Alastair squeezes his neck with both hands, and slams Dean to the wall a few times. Dean knows that Alastair won’t kill him, but it doesn’t make the strangling more pleasurable. When Dean starts to black-out, Alastair kicks him in the stomach with his knee and shoves him to the couch with one fast move. Dean falls to the wooden armrest and slips on the floor. He is panting, trying to catch his breath, and grasps his stomach curled up. He feels himself pathetic by now, letting this demonic bastard to do it again, but the reason he’s letting it is worth anything. Those few weeks he had spent on the buliding-site do its effect on him, he picks up not a little amount of muscles and stamina. He is in a good shape, dines healthy finally, he always has something to eat. He knows he could stand up against Alastair with succes. Now. He can’t fight with his power and leverage though. He can’t let Cas lose his shop, or get attacked and hurt. Not this! He would be Alastair’s slave forever if he can save Cas and know him under cover with this.

As Dean struggles on the floor half-conscious, he feels that a cold metal handcuff clicks on his wrist, and his left arm is pulled up. He looks up and sees that Alastair schackles him to the armrest of the couch.

\- No… don’t need to do this – he groans, his voice is hoarse and almost hurts as he speaks. – I told you I wouldn’t fight.

\- And where’s the fun for me in that, Deano?

\- Up yours!

\- THIS wasn’t nice though! – Alastair grabs Dean by his hair, and pulls him into a sitting position, shoves his back to the couch. The handcuff secures Dean’s left arm in place, and as Alastair punches his face with his fist the metal presses more into the skin on his wrist. He feels his mouth starts bleeding and he goes fully limp. Alastair drags him up and now his bust is lying on the couch. Alastair shoves a dumpy under his hips to be right in knee-high in front of him, then pulls down Dean’s pants with one move, unbuckles his own belt and pushes down his jeans. He doesn’t bother with the shirts. He’s been waiting so long he wanna waste no more seconds. He kneels between Dean thighs, his hips is in the right high, his cock is already hard. He pins down Dean’s free hand near the boys body on the couch and pulls up his t-shirt with his other hand. The boys muscles on his abdomen stand out in his lying position. Alastair bites down joyfully into the neat belly and in the same time he shoves his dick into Dean.

The double impact overwhelms him with so much pain, that he wants to scream his throat bloody, but only a burble groan escapes his lips. He grated his teeth and tries not to concentrate to the forceful thrusts as Alastair starts fucking him immediately. It was not fast, but nice and slow and vigorous, taking advantage on every single moment. Dean doesn’t make a sound. He takes breath gasping, shivers at times. Sometime he moans low when Alastair pounds into him with more force, but except this, he is silent. And Alastair is getting anxious from this. The more brutal he fucks Dean, the more he clenches his mouth. He already lost count of time, doesn’t know whether Alastair tortures him for minutes or hours, when he hears a familiar voice which drags him back to reality at one blow:

\- What the holly fuck are you doing in my property? – The blood runs cold in Dean’s veins. Cas!

He doesn’t know what scares him more: the fact that Cas sees him in this situation or that Alastair’s gonna kill them both.

\- I’m fucking your little love right now – Alastair isn’t bothering. He doesn’t stop slamming into Dean, maybe he slows his moves and underlines every word with a brutal thrust. Dean doesn’t have to look at Cas to know how furious he is right now. When he told him what Alastair had done to him before they met, Cas wanted to call the cops, or at least slam an icepick into the millionaire’s skull. Dean made him sure that he got over it and Cas didn’t have to be feared that.

Now he can’t look at Cas. He closed his eyes and turns away his head.

\- Get the fuck off of him or I’ll call the police! – hisses Cas. He throws his bag and reaches to his cell phone into his pocket.

\- And what exactly are you going to tell them? That your boy receives his clients in your place? They know Dean very well at the station. You think they’re gonna beleive that a millionaire architect breaks into the flat of a little manwhore and rapes him? C’mon, Castiel, I suggest you take a walk while we finish this. – and he turns back to Dean to continue the monotonic brutal thrusts.

Dean watches Cas by now. He sees that anger spoils in him, and as he stares with his blue eyes into Dean green ones, he sees a teardrop rolling down on Cas cheek, in the same moment when the tears in his eyes surrender and start to trickle down. Dean knows that Cas’ gonna make a mistake and when he stares into his eyes Dean barely visibly shakes his head. No avail. Cas takes a step forward and swings into attack. But Alastair is on guard. He let Dean’s pinned hand go with his left and back-handed Cas. He falls to his knees, smashes his head on the coffee table and spreads on the floor with a low groan. Alastair pulls out of Dean and stands up to step towards Cas.

\- No! – Dean sees Cas lying on the floor and blood pours out of his forehead. He is barely conscious. Dean is so much more awake. As Alastair leaves his left hand free, he takes action immediately. ’This sick fuck won’t hurt Him! No, I won’t let this!’ Desperation works in him with so much force that he regains all his power and composure. He pulls up both of his legs and kicks Alastair in the stomach with all of his strength, and the man is lurching from both the blow of the kick and the surprise.  
Dean sits up and picks up the beer bottle which is still on the floor next to the couch. He smashes it to the table in a second to splinter the bottom of it, and in the next second he moves forward until the handcuff lets him and swings toward Alastair with the splintered side of the bottle.

For a moment he thinks he didn’t hit, Alastair just stands stock-still, but after a few seconds blood starts seeping out of his stomach and soaks his shirt.

Time seems to stop for an instant moment. Cas leans on his elbow and tries to sit up, glances once at Dean then at Alastair. Dean does the same kneeling in front of the couch, his left hand twisted, still in the handcuff, in his right he still squeezes the broken bottle. Alastair stares trembling his bleeding belly. Confidence vanishes from his face, there’s no ironic grin on his lips. There is nothing on his face. For a few seconds. Then he’s flooded with pure anger. He glances slowly at Dean. The groove Dean felt for the sudden succes disappears at a blow. Alastair starts off towards him. Dean stabs again, but Alastair grabs his arm and twists the bottle out of it with one move. He grips Dean’s t-shirt by the collar and drags him up on the couch again, raises his fist and slams into Dean’s face with a terrific blow. Dean’s skull snaps to the side with so much force he almost feels like his vertebra cracks. His whole body goes limp and Cas, who he is looking at so far is just a hazy spot. He barely realizes that Alastair’s fist smites again. And again and again, and one more time. Then everything darkens around him.


	6. Chapter 6.

Cas hears his own scream when Alastair starts punching Dean. He strikes on the man he loves so hard, he can even hear Dean’s bones cracking. He jumps up, forgetting about the blood pouring on his forehead and strides into the kicthen with two steps. He never felt more greatful that they moved into a small flat. Dean didn’t want to move into a larger one, because he always wanted to feel Cas close to him. Now it stands in good stead. He pulls out a knife from its keeper and starts up towards Alastair who is still beating Dean. As the knife glints in Castiel’s hand Alastair notices the attack, and picks up the broken bottle from the floor and presses it to Dean’s neck so strong that Dean’s skin starts bleeding.

\- No! – Cas cries out, and a biting smile sits out on Alastair’s face again. Cas keeps looking at Dean whose half face is covered by blood. He visibly isn’t conscious barely even breathing. Freezing horror bites into Castiel’s stomach.

\- Cassie, Cassie! You don’t want little Deano to get hurt, do you? He loves you so much though. He offered himself freely for me to leave you alone. Or maybe I had an effect on him last time so much he just wanted to feel my dick in him again. Oh, you must’ve heard him, how he moaned…

\- Let him go, or I swear I rip your heart out and give it to the stray dogs – Cas forms the words slowly almost like he loses his mind. He takes a step towards Alastair who presses the splinter to Dean’s neck with more strenght. Cas watches with horror as Dean’s face strains. ’So he’s conscious a little. So he’s alive.’ – Let him go, walk away and you won’t get hurt.

Alastair bursts out in loud laughing.

\- You’re not serious, right? – His face darkens and continues hissing. – I can make a score both of you with one hand behind my back. Your little whore is carved from a little harder wood than you, I did take care of him though. You don’t think you can win, do you, Castiel?

\- So what now? – Cas forces a little sarky smile on his face. – We’re standing here and staring each other until the world ends and Hell freezes?

\- No. I slit Dean’s throat, but it’s a pity for him I can note that. And you can make one try to stab me. I doubt it you succed to, but if you do, what’s your price? But I tell you something, Castiel. Deano won’t be able to enjoy our party for a while, and I’m still horny. I don’t really enjoy fucking an unconsious prey. And you interrupted us, so you owe me. 

\- Go to Hell – Cas hisses. His anger grows inside him more and more.

\- Sure, I will. And if you help me you can hug your little princess sooner. Maybe he has a serious concussion, I wouldn’t hesitate about that for too long. And to see, who you’re dealing with, I give a time-limit. One hour, Castiel. Only one hour while I’m doing whatever I want with you, and I’m out of here. Vanish forever.

\- You’re sick. – Cas gets unsteady a little. He knows he can’t beat Alastair with brawn. He is too strong and too crazy. And he still has Dean. He racked him enough. Whole life racked Dean enough, and it’s time for him to live in peace, and let him enjoy his life. Cas eyes fill up with tears, and slowly lowers the knife. – You let him be? Forever? 

\- I give you my true word that beautiful Deano will be only yours from now.

Cas puts the knife down on the table and turns to face Alastair. The man releases Dean’s arm and shoves the limp body aside on the couch. He steps in front of Cas, towering above him, but Cas doesn’t look at him. He just watches Dean, his bloody, bruised face, his naked lower body. He doesn’t notice that Alastair raises up his large palm, and slaps him with terrific strenght. Cas flies across the half room, shoves up the armchair and sprawls face down on the floor. Alastair is behind him in a heartbeat, tugs his arm behind his back and tears off his trenchcoat and shirt. He ties Cas’ twisted arms up with his own tie, and turns him on his back. Cas has never seen such an anger on a man’s face in his life. He knows now how Dean felt that night when he let him passed. And now he thinks for a few seconds that he deserves this. If he has started from home 5 minutes earlier on that night, if he has arrived there 5 minutes earlier, this man wouldn’t be here now, and Dean wouldn’t lie unconsciuos and broken on the couch. All this thoughts run through his mind for a shred of a second, because when Alastair pulls him up into a kneeling position and grips into his hair, he knows that noone in this world deserves such a fate.

\- How could two such beauty find each other? – pants Alastair, while he paws Cas’ lips with his free hand. Cas tries to turn his head but Alastair keeps him firm by his hair. – Dean’s lips are perfect, but you also can’t complain. I should watch you once blowing each other. Two beautiful mouths on two perfect dick. Wow, I’m already hard from the thought alone. It’s time to check out how good you are. I couldn’t enjoy Dean’s mouth this time, so open up!

Cas feels as the mans iron palm grips his jaw, and squeezes like a vise. He tries to protest, his head is still pounding from the previous blow and his tied arms are twisted on a brutal way. He moans loudly and gives in. Alastair shoves his dick into Cas’ mouth the moment he opens it, and starts fucking it hard. Cas knows that this is the way Alastair takes revenge on him for interrupting his entertainment with Dean, for his resistance, for the threats, and especially for making Dean leave the street. But it’s worth it. Dean is worth anything. Dean. Dean. He continues repeating his name silently, and sees his smile in front of him, as it brights the room, the flat, their life. Cas closes his eyes and feels the tears running down on his cheek, while Alastair keeps pushing his dick in-and-out of Cas’ mouth. His jaw is almost pops out, the corner of his mouth splits and he tastes blood on his tongue. And disgust. He had a lot business with men in his life before, but it was all in a long or shortterm relationship. This is the first time when a stranger’s dick is forced into his mouth against his will.

Alastair moans and pants, but he doesn’t want to come yet. Or rather not this way. Suddenly he pulls out of Cas’ mouth and releases his hair. Cas collapses on the floor catching his breath, but Alastair does’t give him too much time. He grabs his throat, pulls him up to his feet, and shoves him to the wall. Castiel cries out when his aching arms are pressed to the wall, his shoulders almost deslocate from the hard push. Alastair grips Cas’ shirt with both hands and tears it off. He admires eagerly the sight of the exposed chest. He smooths along Cas’ both nipples and then his stout belly. Cas closes his eyes, turns his head away, swallows and let Alastair touch him everywhere without a word. When Alastair leans down Cas sights Dean. He closes out Alastair from his thoughts immediately, doesn’t care about what comes next, what horrible things Alastair’s gonna do to him in the remain of the one hour. He sees only Dean. As the boy lies still unconscious, his face’s tilted like the signs of the beating can’t be seen. ’As if he’s asleep. He’s beautiful whe he’s sleeping.’ Cas thoughts wonders and he thinks about how he loves to watch Dean, while he is sleeping. His pretty face flushes perfect calmness this time, and Cas loves the feeling that this sight is mostly thanks for him.

He smiles for a second, then screams is pain when Alastair’s sharp teeth bite into his flesh right below his belly-button. He returns to reality in a heartbeat and sees Dean again, but not the way he saw him a minute before, not as if he’s asleep, but the way he really is: bloody, humiliated, broken.

\- Enough! – Cas’ cry dies into a sob as Alastair’s bloody grin obscures Dean’s sight from him.

\- Already give up, Cass? Dean hold on a little longer. Well, not so much longer but longer.

His cheeky grin is wiped off of his face when Cas spits right between his eyes. He knows, he’s gonna regret it, but doesn’t care anymore. He had to do that to feel himself a man in some degree. Alastair wipes his face off and kneels into Cas’ stomach who is still pressed to the wall. He groans and doubles over when Alastair sweeps his legs and kicks into Cas’ face this time.  
The world darkens around Castiel for a moment. He feels his mouth fills with blood, he bites his tongue and he’s sure that his nose is broken. He would collapse if Alastair doesn’t grab him and shoves him roughly face down on the table.

\- No! – he can groans only that much. Feels as Alastair’s tugging down his pants. He tries to fight, twitching and twisting to break free, but Alastair presses one hand firmly on his back, and pins his body to the hard surface of the table with his own. Cas closes his eyes and prays for this not to happen with him now. No avail. Three from Alastair’s long fingers are pushed together into his hole. He cries out and his tears start flowing from his eyes. As his tormetor starts fingering him, Castiel breaks down silently. He bears the pain, but humiliate, defenceless and shame is obsesses him.  
As he lays face down pressed to the table, helpless, while a stranger fucks him roughly with his fingers, he raises his head slowly and his eyes look up Dean’s face again to draw strenght from the sight. It runs through his mind that it was an everyday schedule for Dean before they met. Dean got this life, where he had to endure abuse every day, where strangers pawed, fucked and humiliated him. And he made a resolution that he’s gonna protect him from everything. Pain, sadness, deprivation and suffering. Like a guardian angel. Now Dean is laying in front of him within a reach, way-out and beat up, and he is face down on a table and let the brutal fingers still push in and out of him. He tries to reach out to Dean but he remembers then that his arms are tied back. He turns his gaze away from Dean and presses his forehead to the table and feels his tears rolling down, his sighs quiver.

Alastair pulls his fingers out of Castiel, grabs his hair and strikes his head hard into the tabletop.

\- You’re whining in vain, now you’ll get what you deserve anyway. I’m gonna fuck you hard in front of your little whore. Until he comes around, and after that, until he’s begging for me to stop. But don’t worry, you’re onna enjoy it, too!

Cas grates his teeth and tries to prep himself for the indignity, and prays silently for Dean not to come consciuos to see him in this state. He spent the last few month to repair Dean’s self-respect just a little. If he sees now as Alastair rapes him, he’s gonna blame himself for that, and breaks forever. Cas tries to stay strong but he isn’t a superhero. Just a man who is hurt by violation as anyone else in the world. Alastair grips his hips tight, he presses his fingernails into his skin, and penetrates him roughly, violently, displaying his strenght and power.

Cas cries out, and after opening his squeezed eyes his blood runs cold. He can hardly focus now from the beatings and nausea, but he can see that Dean comes to and his face is full of angst.

\- Dean! – he is able to whisper that much then he falls to the table half unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for Cas, and in the next one there will be really violent things, so be careful.  
> Reviews are always welcome.  
> Thank you!


	7. Chapter 7

Dean’s head is pounding horribly. He hears voices from the distance as if it’s under water, and tries to open his eyes. He sees only whiteness at first but then he starts seeing spots. Slowly he can open his eyes – at least one of them – and the first thing he sights is Cas’ face. He feels that something is wrong. He is in pain everywhere, and barely feels his arm, but this isn’t it he knows from, that something is definitely wrong. Castiel’s face is always sunny and beautiful, his blue eyes are bright from happiness and energy. That Cas he knows and loves is nowhere now. Instead he sees a face which is twisted in pain and eyes swimming with tears, there’s no trace of the familiar light in them. Memories start to flow back now. Alastair! As the events of the afternoon come into his mind, his vision gets cleared in a heartbeat, and he sees the position, Cas lies on the table, sees that Alastair grips Cas’ hips firmly and gets ready to push in.

\- Nooooo!!! – Dean screams and comes to in a blink of an eye. He jumps up and his face strains from the pain as he tugs his arm, cuffed to the armrest. He sees so far as Alastair penetrates Cas, then collapses from suffering. But just for a second. When his face gets to the same level as Cas’, he watches as he takes a hazy look at him, and mumbling his name ’Dean’ and falls on the table limply.

\- Cas! – Dean’s mind darkens at this point. He looks at Alastair whose dick is still in Cas, but he doesn’t move now. He is surprised that Dean perks up at all, but he didn’t dare to think that it would be so fast. Dean gazes dimly the cheeky grin which sits out on Alastair’s lips, and as if it would be a slow motion he sees as the man releases Cas’ hips and pulls out his dick, to grab the knife, Cas threw down on the floor a few minutes ago.

A few minutes ago. Dean feels like it’s been days since he opened a door to Alastair. He wishes Cas hadn’t come home. Then they would’ve been through all this, he would have had a shower, bandaged his wounds and found out a story to Cas during dinner about the bruises on his face. Instead of this he is here, barely sees anything with his left eye, the handcuff on his wrist is so tight now, he could scream from the pain. All of it doesn’t matter though. It is just him. A little noone who had so much luck that a wonderful man saw something in him and pulled out from the dirt he spent the half of his life. And what does he give in return? He brings here a psycho, who breaks Cas and takes away his trust in life.

Dean twists his wrist more and more desperately in the handcuff which almost carves into his flesh. His blood trickles down on the carpet.

\- No! Please, don’t do this! – Dean’s voice breaks as he begs submissively to Alastair, who raises the knife and with his other hand he squeezes the half-conscious Cas to his chest. 

\- Too late, Deano! I expected totaly obedience from you! – Alastair isn’t smiling now. He pictured this afternoon differently in his mind. It begun well, but everything went wrong somehow. – This was the point of our deal. Obey, and your little friend won’t get hurt. You attacked me though, Dean! And it will have consequences.

Dean’s lungs ache from screaming when Alastair slowly but firmly draws the knife on Cas’side. Cas is conscious enough to gasp and his face twists in pain, but he is able to nothing else. He lets Alastair drag him with himself backwards, while he keeps slashing his skin with the knife. Dean starts tugging his arm desperately, the handcuff squeezes his wrist so tightly he barely even feels it. Adrenaline flows through his mind and he sees nothing but Cas’ limp body as Alastair drags him out while he cuts his side, chest and belly with the knife again and again. Dean tries to pull his hand out of the cuffs but only managed to draw down the skin from his already damaged hand.

He starts tugging the cuff with more and more force while he is pushing the armrest with his free hand, maybe he can move it somehow and the handcuff would slide down from it. But the couch is new like almost everything in the flat, they bought things commonly to make them remember that their new life is fully common. He stops for a second and looks around, maybe he finds something to shatter the armrest but sees nothing. He’s kicking the wood with his bare foot while he keeps tugging, tearing and stretching it with his free hand. He feels his wrist is already broken for a while but doesn’t even care. Blood is flowing in streams from Cas’ wounds and he knows that Alastair is staring at him right now. The son of a bitch’s cock is already half-hard again from the sight of Dean’s agony.

When Dean’s sole can’t take anymore he starts kicking the armrest with his knee and shin by turns. He works with his right all along doesn’t change leg, because he knows, if he had to step to his right foot now he would probably collapse. Like a maniac he’s kicking and stretching the wood and tugging his handcuffed arms, when it suddenly cracks. Dean silently thanks to themselves to choose the firwood instead of the thick oak. As the wood cracks Alastair’s hand with the knife freezes. He stops slashing Cas and stares at Dean in awe, who tugs his arm once again with a hollow scream and he is free.  
Alastair knows he has to run. The wild rage flaming in Dean’s eyes make him retreat. But torturing Dean becomes his kink and he feels he can’t leave without farewell. He raises the knife to Cas’ neck and starts pulling it slowly through his throat.

\- Noooooooo!!! – Dean leaps there with one step, grabs Alastair’s arm and shoves him away from Cas who powerlessly falls to the ground. Dean jerks the knife out of Alastair’s hand and starts punching him.He strikes down again and again with so much force and wrath that the other man has no chance against him. When Alastair is already on the ground, Dean bents down and smashing him on and on. Then he drags him to the corridor by his arm and without thinking he throws him out of the opened window of the stairway. He doesn’t care if he has to go to jail, doesn’t care anything. Just Cas. Dean probably doesn’t know that the window sights to a small alley, and there is a large container under it. Alastair falls unconsciously amongst the garbage.   
Dean doesn’t wait to hear the thud, he rushes back to Castiel. A thought runs through his mind just for a second, that they might moved into an empty block of flats, because noone even looked out on their doors for the shouts and other noises.  
He falls down on his knees next to Cas, he pulls him up in his lap and presses his hand to the bleeding wound on his lovers neck. It seems not to be too deep and doesn’t hit the vital organs, but it bleeds cruelly just like Cas’ other wounds.

\- Dean… - Cas’ voice is barely a whisper as he tries to raise his arm to touch the boy’s face, but doesn’t have enough strength for it.

\- Ssshh, don’t talk! I’m here – Dean looks around desperately to find something to press it on the gash. Finally he pulls off the remains of Cas’ shirt, presses it to his neck and ties as tight as he can. He pulls up Cas’ pants with one hand, and stands up still hugging him tightly, and lays him on the couch. He looks up for his own sweatpants, tugs it up and holds up Cas from the couch gently, carefully, and then he starts. His knees tremble with the first step. He hasn’t felt so far, not even seen it, that his right leg, downside from his knee is swollen and fully purple. The handcuff still dangles on his doubled puffed up left wrist. He doesn’t have time for this now. He has to take Cas to the hospital or else he’s gonna bleed out. He sets off, out the door and closes it behind him. He draggles down the stairs and takes the first cab. Dean sits in to the backseat and squeezes Cas to his chest, and doesn’t even say a word yet when the driver punches on the gas and the wheels of the car are schreeching as they head to the hospital. 

\- Cas… oh God… no, don’t do this to him, please! – Dean holds his love tightly and feels as Cas’ heart beats slower and slower. Dean’s lips quiver and tears flood into his eyes. – Cas, please!

\- Calm down, buddy, we’ll be in the hospital in a minute. I’ve already called them on the CB, they will be waiting for you!   
Dean is really grateful for the driver, but doesn’t manage to say a word, just nods, and mumble something sounds like ’Thank you’ and keeps Cas snuggled to him. He tries to say to the driver about the bleeded cover and lack of money but the man stops him immediatley and tells him that it’s OK, he will solve this. Dean actually can’t believe that there are living people like this man in this city.

When they stop in front of the hospital in a few minutes, the driver jumps out and helps Dean getting a swooned Cas out of the car and carry him together in the parvis.

\- Doctor! Doctor! – Dean cries almost hysterically. – My friend was attacked. With a knife… his throat…

\- I was the one who made a call from a taxi – shouts the driver, and a doctor and a few nurses were there immediatley. They laid Castiel on a stretcher, and as soon as Dean doesn’t feel the weight anymore he starts feeling all of the pain everywhere at the same time. His foot, shin, knee, his wrist-broken to pieces, his soring ass, not to mention his head. He hears from the distance as a doctor tells him, that he will be checked out straigthway and not to go anywhere. The driver’s form starts being hazy as he watches Dean apprehensively, telling him to hold on. The whole world is spinning around Dean and he doesn’t take any longer. He falls to his knees and vomits everything he ate that day. He tumbles to his side and muttering Cas’ name throws himself into the darkness. 

 

When Dean comes to, he is thirsty and very, very woozy. He suspects that he is full with morphine, ’cause he doesn’t feel pain at all right now. As he moves he feels that his left arm and right leg stay in place. Yes, he presumed it. His wrist and his leg up to his thigh are in plaster. He moans silently and tries to sit up but only succeed to slip up a few inches on the pillow. He looks around and sees the pipe of the IV as it leads to his hand and the needle disappears under his skin. He touches the nurse-call button between his fingers and pushes it. A pretty nurse around her 40’s appears in a few seconds. Shi smiles gently to Dean and maybe she asks something like ’How do you feel?’, but Dean doesn’t pay attention to her. There is one thing in his mind:

\- Cas? He asks, his voice is hoarse and dry, suddenly he feels like to give everything for a glass of water.

\- Excuse me? – asks the nurse as she cluches the glass from the nightstand and holds it toward Dean. She holds the glass with one hand while keeps Dean’s head with the other as Dean drinks a few sip of water through a strew. – Sorry I didn’t understand.

\- Cas, Castiel Novak. The man I took in. How’s he? He’s alive, right?

\- Sorry but I can’t give you information about that. You have to wait for the doctor, he will be here soon, and tell you everything.

\- Please, - Dean looks at the nurse pleadingly, almost with the same face he was begging on the street when he was a teen, except that this despair and pain is real now. – I’m begging you. Just tell me if he’s alive. He is…. everything for me…. my love…. please….

The nurse wonders for a second. Dean is used to these kind of glances. They’re all wondering how can be such a handsome, good-looking guy gay. As if it would depend on this. Probably the nurse is on the same opinion because she smiles at Dean, and says:

\- You don’t have to be worry. He’s gonna be fine. Just it will take time.

Dean leans back relieved. The knot in his stomach stays there though. He did this to him. This is his fault. Maybe it would be better off for Cas without him. Cas gave him so much good things and he gave nothing in return. Just brings in the trouble. He can’t leave him alone though. He can’t. He proved now that he had strenght and was able to fight his demons. All he has to do is thinking about Cas and he can do anything. They’re gonna solve this Alastair-issue, too. He won’t let this maggot ruin their lives. They’re gonna work it out. Together.

When the doctor comes in to talk to him, he barely hears what he’s saying. That it broke here, and they had to screw the bones there and concussion and he should rest a lot, and he cannot wait the doctor come to the point: what’s up with Cas.

\- Well, your friend can tell himself lucky. Just a half of an inch and the knife would have cut through his windpipe, so he’s lucky to have such a …. khm…. companion who made such sacrefices.

\- Thank you – Dean can’t say anything else. On the one hand he sees the doctor is embarassed to name their relationship ’We’re in 2013 for God’s sake!’ on the other he knows the first part of the story that this great companion brought the trouble on them.

\- You two should be looking for a psychiater. This attack can make effects on your everyday life and emotions. And there is also this …. rape thing. 

Dean bows his head. He really doesn’t wanna talk about it right now. He nods without a word, doesn’t look at the doctor, and feels small. He knows he was examined but doesn’t know what considered to be a rape. He let himself be fucked. So what was it?

\- Can I see him? Talk to him?

\- Of course. He’s consciuos. But take it short, please. And if you feel yourself ready, the police would ask some questions.  
\- Sure.

 

The doctor’s gone and the nurse helps Dean up and sit into a wheelchair before she pushes him in Cas’ ward.  
When Dean takes the first look at Cas, full of pipes, IV bag and with a thick bandage on his neck and broken face, his tears start falling straigthaway.

\- Cas – he whispers and takes the man’s hand in his own, carefully as if he was affraid of causing pain with every touch. Cas looks at him, but doesn’t smile.

\- Dean, are you alright? – his voice is very hoarse and forceless. And so … stern. The knot in Dean’s stomach becomes more vehement. That’s what he was affraid of, that after all that happened, Cas’s gonna lose his faith in life. It was just a few days ago though. It’s still very recent and together they’re gonna get through this. He’s gonna do everything for Cas to recover. Both physically and mentally.

\- Sure, I’m fine – he answers and caresses Cas’ arm. Cas looks at him and can’t hold back a chuckle. One of Dean’s eyes almost can’t be seen, his face is full of bruises and scratches, his left arm is in plaster, his right leg rests stretced in the wheelchair.

\- Yeah, of course, you exactly look like fine.

Cas laughs lowly but his face is strained immediately from the pain. Dean doesn’t laugh. Not even smile. Grats his teeth though and forces himself not to start cry again.

\- Cas, I’m so sorry. – he says and bows his head. – Sorry to bring this all upon you. I didn’t know he would find me. I didn’t know that the building-site I was working is his. I’m really sorry. But we’re gonna work it out. Together we’re gonna work it out and everything will be fine.

\- You’re a little late, don’t you think? – Cas is very quiet and his voice is so reproachful that Dean suddenly doesn’t understand the whole thing.

\- Excuse me?

\- You should have thought about it sooner, before you offered himself to him.

\- Cas, he threatened you. – Dean still doesn’t understand. He thinks Cas is angry because Alastair was there because of him. – I did it to protect you.

\- You could have protected me! You are strong Dean! Look what you did for me! What you did to yourself and Alastair! You should have pitched him out as soon as he appeared on our door-step not to come back ever again.

\- But your store….

\- Fuck the store! – Cas is getting more angrier. – You think it’s worth to me that much, seeing you like this? To think about that all the time I get in there, that this is the place, Dean was tortured for? You think that kind of man I am?

\- You did the same! – Dean starts getting into a rage, too. – I’m not totally stupid Cas! Maybe I didn’t go to college, barely to high-school, but I have the core of my brain. You had a knife Cas! And a cell-phone! You should have run outta door and call the police. You threw yourself to him instead!

\- He pressed a broken glass to your neck! Your life was in danger!

\- As yours too!

\- No! – Cas looks at Dean for the first time and Dean barely recognizes him. HIs blue eyes flashes with anger, and Dean knows he’s angry with him. – No, I wasn’t in danger. You just thought that because you think that I can’t defend myself! Or did you miss a stranger’s dick so much that it was easier to offer yourself than chose the harder way?

\- You’re such a selfish dick, you know that? – Dean should jump up if his leg wasn’t in plaster up to his thigh. He should rush out with the wheelchair but he can’t push on himself with his plastered arm. So he has no other choice than staying there. – Sure, it’s always the easiest solution for me. Always get fucked and raped.

\- No – Cas calms down a little. He regrets what he said in the second it came out of his mouth. – Of course not, I didn’t mean it. It wasn’t a situation though you ought to decide this way. He threatened us. All right. But we could have worked it out together. We supposed tp figure something out to neither of us get hurt. But now I have to deal with the thought what Alastair has done to you and you’ve done it all for me. And I have to worry all the time I’m leaving you alone, what the next problem will be, you want to solve this way. And I don’t want to, so… leave.

\- Ok, I let you rest now, and when we get out of here we’ll find a psychologist together. The doc suggested it anyway to talk….

\- No! – Cas interrupts him. He pulls away his hand from Dean’s plastered one and resumes quietly. – I want you to go away. From the flat. Or it would be better if I went away. I help you to find a new job, then we’ll go separate ways.

\- Cas, don’t do this. – Dean looks at him pleadingly, his voice is shaking. He can’t beleive what he hears. – I know I made a mistake, but I won’t do it anymore. I know now what I’m capable of and I’m not scared. I’m strong and you showed me how to be it. I can do anything for you!

\- That’s exactly the point! Be strong but not for me! I don’t want… I can’t take the responsibilty for sacrificing yourself for me. Because that’s clear that you don’t do anything for yourself. I want you to do things not for me but yourself. And it’s possible only if I get out of the picture.

\- Cas, please…

\- No, Dean. You have to do it for yourself. Stay in the flat, and when I’ll be released from here I’ll go for my stuff. And then I never wanna meet you again.

\- You know, I love you, don’t you? – Dean says this word for the first time in his life, and he imagined though to say it in different circumstances. All his life lays in ruins at Cas’s bed-post. Somewhere he knows that Cas is right and he has to learn how to respect himself. But he can’t picture a morning without Cas’ bright blue eyes being the first sight he sees. And can’t picture a night where he spends his time with gazing Cas reading, while Dean pretends he’s watching TV. He doesn’t wanna live without Cas.

\- I know, Dean. But you have to learn to love yourself. At least as much as I love you.

Well… life is not easy and not always fair. But this is not the end of the story.  
Thanks for reading, keep this good habit of yours. )))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well… life is not easy and not always fair. But this is not the end of the story.  
> Thanks for reading, keep this good habit of yours. :)))


	8. Chapter 8

Three months later...

Castiel strolls down the streets desperately. Sometimes by feet, sometimes by car, but he is out there almost every night, looking for him. He never finds him so far. Cas can’t decide that he’s happy about this fact, or just going crazy with grief. When he was released from hospital, he went home into the empty flat. There was no letter waiting for him or a message, not even a slip of paper. Cas knows it’s over. And he knows he made a huge mistake. Dean never went to visit him again and a few days later Cas could go home. Dean hasn’t said goodbye. Cas overcomes with guilt and conscience and knows that he was too hard with the boy and also unfair. He isn’t able to tell him now how much he loves him and doesn’t want him to go, so bad. But he’s gone. He called his cellphone vainly, the number was already out of connection. He found the key in the post-box. He is happy for the fact that Dean at least took the clothes and personal stuff with him, which Cas bought him earlier. So he doesn’t wear the few tattered t-shirts … wherever he is. The only thing he left behind was his earing in an ashtray on the table.

Cas hopes that those earring symbolizes his past, and he left behind it. Now it seems to be verificated, because he can’t find him on the street for weeks, months. It’s possible though he moved to the other part of the city, or he was arrested or murdered maybe even he just evaded him so far.

He hopes that Dean starts a new life, finds himself and one day he will come home and things will be the same as before. Cas didn’t even move to another place. He had a reason though to be affraid of. The investigation supported Dean’s and Cas’ statement, and an arrest warrant was issued against Alastair, but by the time the cops went to his department, he was gone. The detectives suggested Cas to move, and move his store to another place but Cas didn’t want to vanish without a trace. The store was at a trained place and the flat…well, the flat reminded him at Dean. When he arrived home from the hospital, blood and broken glass, the broken armrest of the couch welcomed him. He had nightmares for weeks, but when he woke up he sighted Dean’s place on the bed, his pillow, his cover, and he knew Dean would come home. And he would come home to this place, because this is it where he can always find Cas. But Dean didn’t come home, and after two weeks Castiel started searching for him. First at Dean’s old places, then in a larger territory. He was accosted but he always just inquired. He even took a photo with him, he was looking for Dean so desperately, but no avail. He moved from the flat after a months, but never gave up the searcing. 

\- Hey, pretty boy, want a round? I count it to you at half the price. I can’t always have such a delicious client. – A boy around his twenties jerks him awake from his thoughts.

\- No, thank you. I’m looking for someone. You can help me in fact. Do you know Dean?

\- That depends.

\- On what?

\- On maths. How much is that much?

Cas smiles. Dean must have been the same kind 10 years ago. Cocky and self-assured.

\- Good joke. When Vinnie Jones first cracked it in Snatch, you were in the kindergarden. But fine, let it be 20 bucks. So, do you know Dean?

\- Gorgeous guy with the hazel eyes? I know him.

\- Have you seen him lately?

\- He was here two weeks ago. – Cas heart skips a beat. And he doesn’t even care this time that Dean is on the street again. Any information about Dean settles him.

\- Is he working? – he’s getting anxious.

\- He might be somewhere but not on the street. We happened to run into each other, maybe he lives in this area or just had some business here, I don’t know. But when I was asking him when he’ll come back, he said he finished it. Which, to tell you the truth, I’m fucking glad for, ’cause despite of his age there is more client looking for him in a day, than finds me in a week.

\- Despite of his age? – Cas lips turn into a smile. – Dean is barely 30.

\- That’s what I’m sayin’. What does he know what I don’t?

Cas leaves the boy pensively. Actually. What does Dean know, what he doesn’t? Cas recalls their first meet. When he took Dean up in his car, just because Dean was visibly cold. And he seduced Cas in a second. Dean didn’t even touch him, only kissed his neck, but the thought of Dean’s soft lips on his skin still gives him goose-bumps. They’ve had sex for a hundred times since then, but that first touch was the one that branded him. Cas knows, that was the moment when he got lost. And then he found him miraculously and let him go after all.

Cas gets into his car and goes off. He is very tired by now, he is driving along for hours. But this information gives him strenght. Once, he is happy to know, that Dean is all right. At least he was untill two weeks ago. Twice, he left the street behind. He has fewer chance with this to get hurt or be found by Alastair. At this point though Cas is sure that Alastair has already left the States and lives his millionare life in Rio or on the Bahamas. Why does he bother with the revenge? They are just coackroaches in his eyes, and he can buy a hundred whores like Dean was from his money. And after all … what does Dean know what the others don’t?

He starts off by his car, not slow but not too fast either. He decides to round this block and heads home because he needs a sleep. He doesn’t wanna greet a customer once again, like his saliva divels on the books he has to renew, as he snores leaning on the counter. He is exhausted and tired and excessively lonley.

Suddenly a little red light flashes on the panel of the car, and the freaking ’beep’ sound starts screaming at the same time. Oil-pressure. Great. How the hell is he going to fill oil into this old crappy car, far from every gas station in the middle of the night? He knew that there were problems with it, but he always managed to get off the troubles. He knows now, that he has to shot down the engine immediately, so he pulls off the road and stops. Well, he won’t die from a little walk after all. Maybe he finds something, a yard, opened at night, or a station or simply a shop, where he can buy oil. This is New York for God’s sake. The city that never sleeps.

He starts walking and his mind is on Dean all along. How could he say those things to him? After all the boy saved his life. And what did it cost for him? Dean loved him, stuck to him so much, he would’ve thrown his life away just to save him. It is flattering somehow, deep inside, to know that you have somebody who does everything for you. Is it really a good thing though? When he said those terrible things to Dean back in the hospital, he had a lot of time to think. And he realised how much he feared for Dean that night. When he saw him broken, at the mercy of Alastair, he felt like he lied there. He didn’t want Dean to get hurt, he rather offered himself. But he didn’t want Dean to hold on to him that much or do anything for him. This clinging scared him a little but honestly he feared for Dean more. A burning rage grew him then, about Dean being so foolish to put himself at such risk, that he told the first thing, came to his mind, without thinking. He has regreted it a thousand times since then, he knows he was selfish and it was a hasty decision, but he can’t make it right. 

He suffers from loneliness and the thought, how Dean could feel then, and how he feels now, and how he’s doing, what he does, and wether he thinks about Cas.

He thinks about one thing day and night. Dean Dean Dean.

His eyes are stuck on a neon light, saying: Repairing Day & Night. Wonderful! He opens the door and the bell, hung up on the door tinkles loudly.

\- I’ll be out in a minute! - a husky voice shouts out from the yard. Cas hears loud clashing sounds, then swearing and the mechanic appears soon in the door, with a blotter in his hand which he is really dug in. – Sorry but tonight we can’t assume jobs, the boss is out of office and I’m just learning, so if the windshild piper has to be changed then go ahead, if there’s anything else, then sorry, I can’t help you.

Cas looks at the man and feels like electrocuted. His breath sticks in, his heart beats faster, his arms go dead and hang limply at his side. He can barely stand on his legs. The mechanic still doesn’t look at Cas, he thumbs the pages of his blotter and frowns. He doesn’t even notice the silence, he is so into studying whatever it is.

Cas just stands there, eventually swallows hard and speaks on shaky voice:

\- Dean? 

***  
Dean hears the doorbell and mutely cursed the man with his whole family tree and all the roots of it. He’s thumbing his notes, but still can’t find the way he can change the plugging of the cylinder head. He’s been workin in Bobby’s yard for two months while he’s attending on the evening classes of a high school, to graduate finally. Not for Cas. For himself.

He doesn’t want to see Cas anymore. He broke Dean’s heart almost 3 months ago. Dean has never been in love before, and when he finally fell in, he recognised immediately. He would’ve given everything for Cas, he adimred him, idolized him and simply couldn’t get enough of him. He was happy. Then his past came out of the shadow, and Cas threw him aside. Maybe he deserves nothing more than this after all. He’s been just an object in almost all his life, used and thrown away by people. But not Cas. He is different. He takes care of him, loves him, and Dean is sure that it was true. And that’s exactly why his whole new world shattered into pieces when Cas said that sentence: „I never wanna meet you again.”

When he gets out of the hospital, he goes home, packs his stuff and leave. He doesn’t know where, or what he’s gonna do with his life, only knows that he can’t stay in that place. On the first few nights he goes to old hustler friends he knew from the street. He has to leave soon though, because he doesn’t wanna prey upon anybody. He still has a little money he earned on the building site, so he rent the cheapest, cockroach-lived rat-hole and starts to find a job. He doesn’t dare to take on one at a building-site, despite of he believes that Alsatair has left the country long-long ago, he feels though it’s better to avoid those places. He lives from odd jobs, vegetates from one day to another and tries to be angry with Cas, tries to hate him with every fiber in his body. Despite of this he falls asleep every night with such a pricking pain in his heart, that he wished he would never wake up again. He closed his eyes and sees only him: those beautiful, blue eyes, his ruffled hair, his smile. He hears his voice and feels the touch of Cas’ hand on his skin. The lack of Cas’ closeness hurts so much, he can’t breath. His eyes burn from the teardrops, want to roll down on his cheek, but he decides not to cry. 

One night he wearly heads on home, almost crawls, because he was lading boxes at a store all day, without eating and resting for 12 hours. He puts his hands into his pocket, bows deeply his head, and doesn’t realise the outside world around him, when a car brakes next to him.

\- How much? – a middle aged, stubbly man shouts from the car. He isn’t very pleasing but not repulsive either. Just an average Mr. Dick.

\- I’m not… - Dean looks for the words, while desperate flows him. Yes, that’s him. A natural born slut, being accosted even if he left this life behind a long time ago. – I’m not a hooker.

\- Oh, come on gorgeous, you can’t deny it. You would give anything for a cock in your mouth. You know what? I have a really good day, I give you both. Cock and money, too. Just tell me the price.

'Funny guy' – Dean thinks to himself, and somehow he finds the man sympathetic. At least he doesn’t come out with the regular text. And if he can’t rid of his past anyway, he can earn a little money at any rate. He haven’t even eaten anything today, and the money he got for his job, is needed to the rent.

\- 40 bucks – he says. The man nods and Dean gets into his car. And his past falls on him immediately.

Almost twenty years’ dirt and filth, which he already climbed out from, is here again and overwhelms him. He would scream by choise or spit on himself, but he just stares out of the window instead as the car starts. Or rather would start, because it stops with a twitch. The guy tries to set up the engine, but no success. He swears and lashing the panel, but the old car isn’t a DeLorien, can’t be restarted with a smack of the head. 

\- Is there gas in it? – Dean asks. He knows a little about cars, he repaired sometimes with his dad, when he was a child.

\- Of course there is, I’m not an idiot. – snaps the man.

\- Okay, I was just asking – says Dean, he puts both hands up in deffense, than stares out of the window again. He listens to the man’s flurry for a while, than tells him – Open the engine hood up!

The man looks at him surprised but opens it up without a word. Dean leans into the car up to his waist, picking something, and shouts out:

\- Try it now! – and the engines starts for the first try. Dean shuts the hood and walks to the driver-side window. – Just a cord slipped off.

\- I have to admit, you have very usefull hands. – the man says – I hope you have such a talent for other things, too.

\- I think, it’s gonna be enough for me – Dean says smiling. – Sorry, but you have to look further for your partner. I’m going home.

Therewith he turns around and leaves the protesting man.

Next day he goes to the nearset yard, to ask for a job. He would assume anything, cleaning, car-washing, for a very low pay, just let him learn. The door is shut to his face. It is the same with the next five yards. He starts to give up hope by the time he gets to the sixth. He enters to the devastated workhouse, left here from the ’70s. He finds noone, only hears terrible swearing under a car in a distant corner.

The mechanic is stretching in vain he can’t reach his tools. Dean walks to him, and kneels on the dirty floor.

\- Which one do you need?

\- The 8 wrench – the old man with an old weary cap looks surprised first at the perfect stranger boy, but accepts the help.

On the next day Dean starts working in Singer yard.

He works at night three times a week, always with Bobby, because he can learn the most in these shifts. But today he has to get on alone, because Bobby has a date. Funny. Everyone find happiness in this town, even an old, drunk mechanic, except Dean. Or rather he already found it, but lost it straightaway.

Now he climbs out swearing from the engine, which almost swallowed him completely by now. A client is always right though, and a client always has to be served out.

He steps out into the waiting-room and tries to tell the customer politely to go to Hell as soon as possible. And then he hears his name. And the voice. The voice that he keeps hearing in his thoughts for three months so clear, as if he heard it only two minutes ago.

He looks up and the world stops existing, the walls come down, and noone else stands on the face of the Earth, but him, and ten foot from him, Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly about their feelings and introduces their life after breaking up.  
> Keep reading and review if you like.  
> Thank you.


	9. Chapter 9.

Dean thinks that Castiel is gorgeous as always. His blue eyes are staring at him tired from under his ruffled hair. He wears jeans and jacket and Dean thinks he has never seen him sexier before, albeit Cas is exhausted and shattered and… sad. The quilt in his eyes flows every anger from Dean, and remains only confusion.

\- Cas? – he asks after finding his voice finally. – What are you doing here?

\- I should say, You.

\- Should?

\- My car stopped, actually… or rather didn't stop, I stopped it, because the oil… but intrinsically I was searching for you, but I didn't dare to hope,not even in my dreams, that right here…

\- Cas, what the hell are you talking about? – Dean almost laughs, he nearly forgot how much nonsense Cas could say when he was embarassed.

\- Dean – Cas takes a step towards Dean and his eyes are hazy from the tears – I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I've said then. I already regreted it in the following second. I didn't want you to go, I still don't want it. I want you to be with me, for our whole life, and grow old together. I don't care what you did and why. I want you.

\- No, Cas – Dean drops his notes and looks deeply into those blue eyes. – You were right. I had to respect myself more. And I did it. I didn't go back to the street, I think though you were lookoing for me there – Cas bows his head. – I'm attending a school, besides I'm learning at Bobby's to have a normal life finally. Not to love someone just for saving me from hooking.

Cas' head snaps up and he looks questioningly into Dean's eyes:

\- Is that what this was all about? You loved me for this? – Dean hears the grief in his voice.

\- No… I don't know. That's not so simple.

\- Then explain it!

\- Cas, I was never in love before in my life. Not even close. I didn't even have a longterm relationship. Then you came, someone who took care about me from the first second. And I felt something like I did never before. Gratitude, happiness, devotion. But I don't know if it was love. I wanted to measure up to you and make you happy the way you made me happy. – Bitterness is growing in Dean's voice. – But you didn't want this, and threw me away just like all the people in my whole life.

\- Dean, I didn't…

\- You broke my heart.

\- I… didn't want to… I'm sorry. I really loved you Dean and I still love you. I just feared for you. I saw what that son of a bitch did to you and I couldn't stand the thought that all of this happened because of me…

\- Not because of you, Cas. For you! But if we are speaking of this, that fucker would've done the same one way or another. As he did it before. I should've try to fight against it, but it's possible that I would be worse off. And so would you. How could it had made sense? Tell me!

\- Dean, you can't sacrifice yourself like that!

\- You're right! And you made me see that. I know that I'm worth more than a cheap round on the street. And I can stand on my own feet. I make up all the things I've missed in the last 20 years. And with you I… - Dean hesitates for a second before telling the words – I don't wanna continue it.

\- Dean – Cas' voice is small and hoarse – don't do this, please!

\- I don't wanna continue. I don't wanna be the guy forever, who you just picked up from the street by accident just because I was cold. I… wanna start it over again.

It takes a few seconds while Cas takes in Dean's words. He snaps up his head and lookes deeply into Dean's gleaming green eyes.

\- What? – Cas feels that this is a very stupid question but he is affraid of he didn't hear Dean well.

\- I wanna start it over again. Leave behind the past and make it with a fresh start. Step by step. I wanna go out on a date. I wanna feel the tingle, the excitement what you usually feel at the first time. I want the first kiss to prevent the first sex. I want that after a date both of us go home to our own flats, and if we sleep together, don't do it because I have no place to go.

\- You know that we never did it because of it. – Cas interrupts, while his heart is beating faster and he wants to rush up to Dean, pin him down on the hood of one of the cars and kiss him senseless.

\- I know, but I need all this to become the man you'd want me to see.

Cas can't say anything to this. He just stands there in silence, just like Dean. They are just standing and staring each other.

\- Well, what do you think? – Dean asks, there is a mall smile in the corner of his mouth. Do you think you can keep a check on that amazing sexual energy of yours for a few dates?

Cas chuckles with a grunt and Dean hearts thuds to this sound. He adores the sound as Cas is laughing. Meanwhile the sound also makes effects on a very different place. Dean feels himself harden, and already thinks about how he's gonna make the dates out without sex.

\- I take that as a yes – He smiles at Cas. – Now c'mon, let's see your car's problem.

They spend the next two weeks exactly like Dean imagined. And Cas loves every minute of it. They don't shack up with each other as they agreed, and don't sleep together. Dean lives very close to the yard, in a small upstairs bachelor flat which is clean and light. That's why Cas starts this whole situation calmly. They both go to work in the morning and in the afternoon they meet somewhere, watch a movie or eat something. Dean insists on paying the bill most of the time, but after a few date – for Cas' advice - they chose the fifty-fifty method. That makes both of them satisfied, and they take that as paying the bill for the other, not for themselves.

They go for a walk a lot or play bowling and they don't see each other only on those days when Dean works on nightshift. But when Castiel gets home after every single date and closes the door behind him, he takes off all his clothes and steps into the shower, thinking about Dean.

He misses him so much. Of course he was there and the relationship deepens more than ever. They talk a lot and learns a many thing about the other's past, family, childhood. Though Dean's childhood was over at the age of sixteen.

He has Dean now, he is always near him, feels his scent, the warmth of his body and he is extremly happy to find Dean again. Although it is like torture when during the bowling, he watches Dean's tight muscles, and his neat ass as the denim's stretching desirably on it. Way too much desirably. Most times Cas gets himself on staring at Dean and bites his own bottom lip. Luckily, Dean doesn't realise anything of it, or he doesn't show. He'd like to think that Dean wants him just as much as Cas wants him, but he showes no sign of it. Eventually Dean handles sex in a different way. He had got enough of it, even too much, and he doesn't regard it as a form of expression rahter as a duty. So Cas doesn't mention it or push it, just waits patiently, because he knows that it's worth waiting.

At home though he doesn't take back his fantasy. He stands under the shower, turn on the tap, and while the pleasing water pours down on his nape he grabs his hardening dick and starts stroking himself. He closes his eyes and imagines Dean standing in front of him with his green eyes, freckled nose and beatuiful lips. Imagines Dean as he put Cas' member into his mouth and his soft tounge slips along the whole lenght of his dick. Oh, God, how many times he played this scene in his mind during the last three months, but now, that he spends every afternoon with Dean, and he still smells his scent, this daydream seems much more real. He speeds up tha pace a little and when a low moan escapes his throat he almost hears as Dean sighs loudly. Cas pictures the boy's stout body, kneeling in front of him, and his legs tremble, he has to steady himself on the wall with his free hand. As he takes up a faster pace and jerks himself off rytmically he imagines that Dean stands in front of him his chest almost presses up to his, and squezees Cas' swollen member with his firm fist. Castiel is close. He figures that eventually he kisses Dean who never stops jerking him off and as Cas lips touch his and his tongue finds a way to Dean's, Cas splatters his come on the wall with a loud moan.

After he gets out of the shower he sprawls across the bed and can't think anything else but their next date with Dean.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The snow is falling and glistening in the Moonlight as they are walking in the peaceful park. The snowflakes, flashing in the streetlight are beautiful just as trees and benches, covered in white. Dean wonders how these little beauties could escape his attention so long. Winter just ment friggin' cold for him, and the hooking didn't go well in freezing weather. His shoes just soaked in the snow, and at the thin heating of his flat it often couldn't dry until the next evening. He hated winter.

But this moment right now, makes him happy somehow. He is satisfied. Cas is here with him, didn't complain during all the last few weeks, and Dean hopes, that was because Cas was happy with him even without physical contact.

And what he feels… well, is undescribable. His heart filled up since almost their first date, emptiness disappeared, and he feels like as if bitterness and disappointment would have never been there. He is in love. He knew it at the first sight, when he saw Cas again in Bobby's yard. He knew that he couldn't live without him but he wanted things to be clear. He got what he wanted. Cas acts like a real gentleman, gives Dean time, and lets him become aware of his emotions. Honestly though, Dean almost goes crazy. His pants are so tight on every single date, it nearly bursts, and he is wondering how the hell Cas can't feel the heat radiates from his body. He's always staring at Cas, drinks in every word he says, and merges in the blue of his eyes and can't get enough of it. He feels himself lucky, goddamn lucky, that the man who probably is the sexiest, most gorgeous and most interesting one all over the world, finds something in him and he's here with him after so many trial.

\- What's on your mind? – With his shoulder Cas gently pushes Dean, who remains silent beside him for minutes.

\- Nothing – Dean looks at him, and as he sees Cas' face in the Moonlight, his hair is covered in snowflakes, a wave of emotions comes over him which he never experienced in his life before. – Snowfall is beautiful. – He wants to say something else. – I've never noticed it before. I saw only the cold and mud in it. I didn't appreciate it even in my childhood. I never played in the snow, didn't even sledge before. Sometimes I pulled Sammy on a sledge when he was a little kid, and I was slipping on the ice at the school-yard, when I attended at all, but that's all. Mostly we were travelling to avoid winter.

\- So you didn't even play snowball? – Cas smile turns into a wicked grin and Dean watches him as if he heard him wrong.

\- Castiel Novak – he says with a stern face while he's slowly stepping backwards in the snow – Don't be a baby. No, don't you dare… - he doesn't finish his sentence because he turns around and starts to run when he sees that Castiel bents down and grabs a fistful of snow with his bare hands and makes a snowball from it. He feels during running that the snowball smashes to his nape and falls onto his neck. It is terribly cold, but somehow a good feeling, too. So fresh and full of life. It warms up his blood and he feels as his face glows. He puts on a break and turns around. Cas is standing in a few yards in front of him, his breath is visible in the chill, and smiles. He's beautiful.

\- You commited the biggest fault of your life. – He sets off towards him, and now it is Cas' turn for running, but he slithers on the snow, and by the time he gathers his balance, Dean is behing him and tackles him from his feet. As they are rolling on the ground Dean grabs a little snow and pushes it into Cas' face, who grips Dean by the collar of his jacket, turns him over and pins him underneath himself. Dean looks up at him laughing. The snow slowly melts on Cas' face as he's panting and smiling with glowing cheeks. Dean already knows that he can't hold any longer and he has to say it. He parts his lips to tell Cas, when he interrupts Dean:

\- No, Dean, I've already commited it. – he says as his laugh turns into a gentle smile – when I was letting you go.

There's a lump forming in Dean's throat and he swallows hardly. None of them is smiling now, jut stares into each other's eyes and Dean feels that the snow melts around them.

\- I love you, Cas – says Dean quietly. – From the first time I saw you, during all the time we were apart. I was waiting for you all my life, I know now. I must have done some very good thing in my previous life to deserve that… - he can't continue, because Cas puts his forefinger on his lips. Dean stays silent.

\- I love you too. – whispers Cas hoarsly. Dean raises his head and presses his mouth on Cas'. Just gently with slightly parted lips, no tongue involved, no sexuality just sensuality.

And as Cas kisses back, that is the most lucious taste in the world he ever felt. Like a real, sheer first kiss. Their lips are pressed to one another warmly and inseparably, then they parted their lips at the same time, find each others tongue and the kiss deepens and become a passionate one. They kiss each other for long minutes, Dean puts his arms around Cas, holds him tight while Cas runs his fingers through Dean's hair, which is wet from the melt snow. There are no wondering hands, no pulled off zippers or tug up shirts. Nothing but pure kiss. And the tingle in their stomach, growing into a desire in a minute and makes their cocks rock-hard. Cas pushes his hips more and more to Dean's, and as he feels Cas' arousal even through his jeans, Dean thinks he could come right now. They don't touch each other though, just kiss until they can barely breathe.

They don't even notice that someone stops beside and watches them in silence for a few seconds, then talks on his deep, strict but friendful voice:

\- Go home, gentlemen. You will just catch cold this way and it's more comfortable in a warm room.

They look up and see an elderly policeman standing beside them with his hands on his hips.

\- Uhm… yeah… we're sorry – Cas groans, and when the policeman walks along, he rolls off of Dean and for a while none of them can say a word from the bursting laugh. Finally Cas turns to his side and watches Dean, wondering how it is possible that the Sun didn't shine yet from Dean's smile. He stands up and holds his hand to Dean – Well, what do you think? Should we go home?

Dean nods in silence, takes his hand and Cas pulls him to his feet with a firm tug. They sweep off the snow from one another and set off towards the car hand in hand.

Dean knows now that he doesn't have to wait any longer. He knows that Cas is the one he wants to live with, the one who is ment to be with him, and the way they got into each other's life doesn't count anymore. They want one another and that's what counts.


	10. Chapter 10

They are totally frozen by the time they reach Cas' place. Dean gets out of the car shivering and he looks suprisedly at the small but neat and nice house. Cas notices the amazement in Dean's eyes.

\- What is it? – he asks.

\- Uhm… nothing… just… you bought a house?

\- We always planed this, didn't we? You wanted this, because you told me that you always lived in crappy motels when you were a child, and how much you would have liked to live in a house for once.

\- Yeah, but… I thought that we… together. We buy a house and live in it together.

\- I still want it, Dean – says Cas smiling, because he knows now where this conversation heads. – And I just rent this house. You can get in the payments anytime, or we can buy it one day. Just in that case of course, if you would decide to live with me.

\- Cas, you know I would – whispers Dean with quivering lips. – But not now. Not yet.

\- Alright. At least you should come in to warm up a little. You're shivering.

\- You just pick me up again, because I'm cold? – he asks with an ironic smile and starts following Cas towards the front door.

\- You're crazy.

***

Dean feels like home as soon as they enter the warm house. He thinks that his place is here in this little suburban house with Cas by his side. After getting off their wet jackets and shoes Cas takes Dean by the hand and leads him into the living-room. He makes a fire in the fire-place to Dean amazement. Cas pulls off Dean's wet socks and jeans.

\- Do you wanna take a hot shower? - He asks while he covers Dean's legs with a warm blanket. – You would melt up sooner, believe me. Your foot is ice-cold.

\- You go first. I'll go maybe later.

\- Right.

\- Can I look around till then?

\- Sure. I make you a tea.

Dean hears as Cas turns on the tap in the bathroom. He puts the blanket on his shoulder and walks around in the room. It's unbelievable. The fireplace alone. They were talking a lot earlier about the images of their dreamhouse. This living room looks like exact the same way, as Dean imagined his dream parlor. A large, thick carpet in front of the fireplace, and a plenty of photos all over the walls, shelves and on the mantelpiece. Even Cas' books disappeared, probably he found another place for them in another room. Dean walks around and watches the photos from closer. They didn't shoot too much photos during the short time they spent together, the few were taken mostly about their fooling at home. But all the pictures are here now, settled into classy montages, that it looks like they've been together for years, and the myriads of photos shows their whole life with Cas.

Dean puts his cup down on the table and shoves the blanket off of his shoulders on the bed. He opens the door of the bathroom. The wall of the showertub is covered in mist, Dean sees only Cas' sillhouette in the steam. It's still beautiful. As Cas stands under the pouring water, with his head bowed, Dean wants only one thing: standing beside Cas under the shower. He takes off his shirt, pulls down his briefs, closes his eyes as the bursting warm steam soothes his skin. He opens the door of the showertub.

\- Can I come in? – he asks smiling.

\- Dean – Cas gasps and gazes Dean's naked body as he steps next to him under the water.

Dean can't take his eyes off of Cas' watery face, as his damp hair sticks to his forehead and he just stands there in silence and can't even swallow. He runs his fingers through Cas' locks, smoothes them back and drinks in the sight in front of him. Cas closes his eyes and moans quietly.

\- God, I missed you so much! – he whispers.

Dean doesn't answer, doesn't say anything just takes one of his lovers hands and pulls him close to him. He kisses Cas hot and long, while he lets his hand go and starts caressing the man's upper body. He starts with his shoulders, then his hands slid down to his chest, pressing gently the nipples, which makes Cas moan. Dean's hands go down further, grip the man's hips firmly. Dean breaks the kiss, he puts his forehead to Cas' for a second, then his mouth starts following the path of his hands. Cas' skin is soft and smooth, just like he remembered. He kisses every inches of his body with pleasure, sliding down slowly towards the nipples. He loves Cas' nipples, especially the birth-mark above his right one. He pays a lot attention for it this time, too. He puts out his tounge and touches the mark with the tip of it. He smiles to himself, knowing how that thing makes Cas go crazy. The birth-mark is really close to his nipple, but not on it. He tastes the mark for a few seconds, then slides his tounge to the nipple and starts licking it around and around. He feels as Cas grabs his shoulder, when he sets up rubbing the other nipple with his fingers, hoping he gives Cas just as much joy, as he feels, simply from touching him.

His mouth slowly leaves his chest and as he's going down further, he lowers to his knees on the wet tile. He glances up and looks into Cas eyes for a few seconds. Cas' sight is hazy and dark from the lust, just as Dean's. His breathing speeds up as he sees that Cas looks straight into his eyes when he put Cas' cock into his mouth. He massages it with his tongue first, than his head starts pumping rhythmically and his lips are pressed around Cas' swollen member.

Dean knows very well, that he's doing it great. He heard it a million times. But if he does it great with a stranger, then Cas gets a thousand times more, because Dean enjoys it himself. Enjoys as Cas's body tenses, as he feels every twitch of the dick in his mouth, and the well-known salty taste, and he loves the feeling as Cas' grips his hair gently. As he speeds up his pace he knows that Cas is very close. He reaches up with his right hand to grab gently Cas' balls, starting massaging it. That move makes Cas lose his self-control, and comes into Dean's mouth with a loud moan.

Dean feels that Cas leans down and pulls him up beside him. The man looks deep in Dean's eyes in silence for a few seconds, smooths his watery hair backwards with his fingers and wipes the drops from Dean's cheek with his thumb. He strokes Dean's swollen lips, then kisses him, holding him so tight as if never wanna let him go.

They are just standing there for minutes, under the pouring, hot water, and Dean feels, he knows that he doesn't wanna wait anymore. He wants to feel Cas inside him, right here and now.

***

Dean is kneeling on the thick, soft carpet and Cas is staring at him magnetized. He kneels with Dean in front of him, and watches as the flame in the fire-place is dancing in his hazel eyes. His face is a little flushed and he's beautiful as always. Cas takes stock of everything on him from inch to inch. His still a little bit dank hair which now sticks to his forehead tangled, his wonderful green eyes, the freckles on his nose and cheeks, he loves so much. He's never seen a man before who has more gorgeous, more desirable and softer lips like Dean. He grips his jaw gently and raises his head to kiss him tenderly. Then he continues wondering. In the last few month Dean gets an even better shape than before. His chest is definitely muscular and the old pentagram tattoo looks extremly good on it. As Cas gaze wonders lower, his member changes its state from half-hard to rock-hard. He is already over on a marvelous orgasm, just like he always fantasized about it, except the satisfaction is much more full-blooded in the reality. Dean's dick though is still untouched and waiting patiently in front of him. Cas touches gently Dean's erection but his eyes never leave the boy's face. And the vision itself is a satisfactory. Dean closes his eyes, swallows hardly and moans quietly. As Cas palms him, Dean's face is contorted with pleasure, his lips part and starts breathing louder and deeper. Dean's almost gasping when Cas' pace speeds up, and he whimpers lustfully.

\- Cas… God… Cas, I want you… so much – he's panting – so much…

\- Tell me, Dean… - Cas' voice is small and hoarse, he can't take his eyes off of Dean's face – tell me what you want.

\- I want to… feel you… inside me – groans Dean, and Cas spreads Dean's legs apart with his other hand. Now Dean kneels in front of him in a wide stride, which makes him a little shorter than Cas.

Cas slowly, but firmly pushes one finger in Dean's hole an it's followed immediately by another. He feels as Dean almost sits in the move as Cas starts pushing his fingers in and out. Dean embraces Cas' shoulder and grips into his back while he's kissing and biting his neck in sweet torment.

\- You thought about this? – asks Cas, enjoying the other's whole body's writhing with pleasure. He presses his own hard dick to Dean's stomach.

\- Yes… no… more… harder – Dean almost sobs.

\- I tell you what I'm gonna do now – whispers in Dean's ear – You kneel to the couch and lie on it, keep your hands on the pillow. I push my dick into you from behind and start fucking you so slowly and so long till you lost your mind from the pleasure…

\- Cas…

\- …then I speed up and pound into you so hard, you get off without touching you. Then I lay you down on your back on the carpet, spread your thighs and slam into you untill you're hard again. And I kiss and bite every fiber of your body to make you come so hard like you did never in your life before.

Cas feels Dean's body trembling with pleasure and the boy heart's pounding so intensely, it almost bursts out of his chest. Cas tips him down on the couch, leans on him and starts biting his neck softly. He furrows a gouge with his tongue on Dean's wet back to his butt-cheeks and steeps his already reamed hole with a few forceful licks.

\- Cas, please – Dean's panting and groping the couch so hard, his knuckles almost white from grasping.

Cas straightens, catches Dean's jaw and turns his face a little, to press a gentle kiss to his lips, then thrusts into him with one, hard move.

\- Aahh – Dean cries out and Cas is wondering how Dean can resist not to get off to the side of the couch.

Dean is tensed like a string and Cas knows that he isn't far from the first, but he wants to luxuriate and wants Dean to have a mind-loosing orgasm. He starts moving slowly, and feels that Dean pushes his hips back with every single move. Cas grabs his hips firmly to hold in place while thrusts his cock into Dean harder and harder.

Cas has an unbelievable self-control. He is in Heaven and ready to cum in any second, but knows that this is not for him. He wants Dean to get off alone, and then they get to the top nice and slow and burst out together. Cas watches as Dean's body squirms under him, his hands are clutching the couch and burries his face into the pillow to muffle his cries.

\- Cas… Jesus…Yes… - and moans like that leave Dean's mouth, untill finally he can't say anything, just burble groans.

***

And Dean comes so hard, that if he didn't lie on the coach, he would probably collapse. Cas doesn't give him too much time though. He pulls Dean's limp body to his, and lay underneath him on the carpet. Dean is woozy, lying half-unconscious, but his eyes snap open wide when he feels that Cas touches his still too sensitive member. He tries to flinch away from the touch but Cas holds him in place tenderly and starts stroking him again, uses Dean's semen as lube. Dean feels as Cas leans above him and starts teasing his nipple with the tip of his tongue. He knows it unseen, that Cas smiles at the twitching, Dean's cock gives in Cas' palm. Cas' tongue wonders to the other nipple, takes it among his soft lips, and pulls, squeezes and teases untill Dean's cock starts swelling again.

Dean runs his fingers through Cas' silky hair, grips his shoulder with his other hand and knows that the firm grip probably will leave a mark, but he knows it too, that Cas doesn't mind. Cas loves to feel the strenght of Dean's body, just as Dean loves Cas' dominance and charge. Suddenly Dean grabs a fistful of Cas' hair and tugs it gently to raise Cas' head and look into those ocean-blue eyes. Cas' gaze is blurred from the lust, but as their sights meet, it clears up and he stares deep into Dean's green eyes. He pushes into Dean this way, staring into each other's eyes. None of them turns away or breaks the eye-contact. They explores every sign of delight and lust with pleasure on the other's face. Both of them bath in sweat, Cas shoves into Dean deeper and deeper, and Dean puts his legs on Cas' butt to urge him to deeper thrusts.

Dean scratches Cas's back at one time, strokes his face at another, or pulls his hair, or even rises up from the carpet and sucks Cas' nipples with such a fervor which makes Cas groan so loudly, that it almost suppresses the noise of the smacks as Cas' hips slam to Dean's butt-cheeks. Dean is close again, very close, though he doesn't want it to end. The rapture is so sweet, he wants to feel Cas inside him so much, that he holds back his growing orgasm every time. But when Cas takes his cock into his strong palm and starts pumping it with the same pace as he fucks Dean into the carpet, he can't take it anymore. He knows that Cas comes with him, that he is also very close to the end, so he lets the passion carry them away, and he gets off into Cas' palm so hard, that his vision darkens for a second. He feels yet that Cas thrusts into him for a few times so viciously that he crawls inches upward on the carpet from the force of it, than Cas' sweaty, warm body collapses onto his chest, panting heavily.

Dean is gasping like he ran a Marathon, but he breathes hardly with Cas' body on his chest. Cas likely knows this, because he rolls off of Dean and lies beside him. They're both panting sweaty in fornt of the fireplace, and Dean never feels himself so happy in his life before. His heart is full of love and devotion, and his body is so satisfied that tiredness takes toll on him. He feels as Cas leans above him, brushes his hair, caresses his face, kisses his forehead, lips and the tip of his nose, and pulls him in a tight hug, then takes off a blanket from the couch and covers themselves with it. Dean turns to Cas, burries his face into the man's neck and drops off to sleep immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. :-)))
> 
> I still haven't finished yet, there will be a few more chapter.


	11. Chapter 11

Dean's face is bathed in sweat. He scowls his forehead unwittingly and his head twitches lightly.

\- No… please don't – he whimpers again and again.

Cas watches him in silent as Dean suffers from nightmares. Already for weeks. Since having sex again they have slept together every night once at Cas' place, sometimes at Dean's. Nightmares starts after a few days. Dean is tumbling evrey night, moaning and beging. Cas knows well who Dean's pleas are for. He always woke him up in the begining, but Dean never slept back that night. He was watching TV or reading newspaper or simply staring out at the window. After a while though restlessness took its toll on him. He was exhausted and silent, he could barely focus on his studies. Therefore Cas decided that sleeping, full of bad dreams is still better than none sleeping at all, so he suffers in silence every night when he watches Dean's torment from the nightmares. He holds him tight these times, relying on that the closeness of his body and the love that radiates from it, is enough to calm Dean down. Sometimes it's enough, sometimes it's not.

Except for the nightmares everything is perfect. They are both working at daytime, Dean is attending school twice a week in the afternoons. The remained time they always spend together and sleep together. When Dean is on nightshift at Bobby's, Cas sleeps alone if that few hours can be called sleeping, when they aren't talking on the phone or sending messages on it. They are happy and in love.

Then the nightmares are getting worst and Dean automatically wakes with a start screaming in the midle of the night, panting and bathing in sweat. Cas is always by his side and tries to calm him down, sooths him. He knows that the nightmares came forward since being together again and slowly he starts to understand –despite of wanting the opposite of it - that Dean scares for him more than his own life. Dean has told him that Alastair never popped into his mind during the time they were separated, that he could return or do harm for them in any way. But now, that he has something, someone to lose, his fears spout to the surface again and again.

Cas holds the still gasping Dean in his arms, leaning to the headboard of the bed. He's smoothing his arms and back, kissing the top of his head, untill Dean slowly calms down and relaxes in Cas' embrace.

\- Let's travel to somewhere – Cas says quietly after a while. – Just for a few days, for a weekend. Let's get out of town. Go to Vermont. We rent a little house in the middle of nowhere and relax. We have worked a lot lately, you and me both. We deserve a little rest.

\- Vermont, huh? – Dean smiles faintly. – You're gonna carry me through the threshold?

\- If it makes you happy – Cas answers grinning – You can get a diamond.

\- Idjit – Dean snorts – but, I don't mind, let's do it. I could use a little vacation. I wanna be with you 24hours a day finally.

\- Then we agreed in this. When do we leave?

\- Wo-hoo. This is not so simple. I don't work for myself - Cas grimaced at the ordinary mocking tone in Dean's voice. – And there are exams in school, too. I need a few weeks until I can get some sparetime.

\- After the exams then. Altough I note that Bobby doesn't need you at the weekend and also there is no school. Just a few days Dean, I'm not talking about weeks. We need a little relaxation, especially you.

Cas doesn't want to wait for weeks. He wants to go now, pack immediately if it's possible, get in the car and leave this cram-full town. If only for a few days. He doesn't want to part from Dean every morning, and doesn't wanna spend a second without him. He knows that it would kill their relationship if they were together in 24/7, but now he needs to be with Dean incessantly. Like a honey-moon as Dean meant.

\- All right – says Dean eventually - then we go this weekend. I'll drive!

Cas chuckles with a little snort. That's like Dean. Though in sex Dean bottoms , but he is the typical man in every other way in their relationship. And who other could drive than him?

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean can hardly wait for Friday to be end. He asked Bobby to let him free a few hours earlier, so they can get to Vermont the same day. Bobby is satisfied enough with Dean's work, so he lets him slip a few hours without complain. They discussed that Cas also closes the store earlier than usual, they can depart early in the afternoon, get there at the evening and they have almost two whole days in Vermont. Dean never though that he would be so low-browed. That he would go crazy for a simple, drooly weekend. He likes though that they are so ordinary and cliché. He feels normal, maybe for the first time in his life.

When he gets home he starts packing some things. He doesn't need a lot of clothes, he knows that they will spend the most of the day in bed. Even if they go for sight-seeing, because the countryside is beautiful, he doesn't need to put in a lot of things. And what's more, they don't need condom anymore. He discussed this thing with Cas. Dean has a test done, which is negative, thank for God, for every catching disease, and Cas doesn't need to have a test. They don't live together, but they are 100% sure in each other. They have no doubt.

Dean starts being worry. It's over 4 o'clock and Cas is nowhere. According to the plan Cas picks Dean up at 4, and they go on from there. Dean calls him no avail, Cas doesn't pick up his phone. He knows that Cas doesn't like making phone calls in the traffic, but where the hell is he now then? He tries to calm down, it's Friday afternoon after all, the town is a little bit stirred up this time, when everyone try to get out of it to the country or at least to the suburbs. He has a bad hunch about something though. For days. And he knows that it's not about their travel. If he thinks about that he feels pleasant excitement and buzz, but some very wrong feeling is mixed in the joyful awaiting.

The ringtone of his cell-phone interrupts his dark thoughts. He flinches, but when he sees Cas' name on the display he answers immediately.

\- Cas? Where the hell are you? And why don't you pick up your damn phone? You should've been here for a long time. – Dean knows that he shouldn't start their first mutual trip with a quarrel, but he can't hold himself back. He is angry and worried.

\- Hello Dean – from the voice, all blood runs out of Dean's face, he feels dizzy and collapses on the bed. – Unfortunately little Cassie can't come to the phone right now. He's busy. How to tell… his hands are tied.

\- No… - Dean can't say anything else, he can't even think. No, that won't happen with him. Again. - Alastair…

\- Yes, Deano. I'm flattered that you recognize my voice after so long time. I take that as a compliment – the millionaire chuckles on his sarky hissing voice.

\- If you hurt him, I swear… - Dean's desperation turns into rage in a heartbeat. – I swear I'll kill you! You hear me? I don't care if you take me with you, I don't care anything. If you touch him with even a finger, I look you up, hunt you down and kill you. You got that?

\- Wow, Dean… is this the correct way to greet an old friend? Don't worry. Your pretty lover didn't get hurt. Yet. And there will be no harm on him if you obey for me. I don't want him. I want you. I could hardly wait for the day when you finally find each other again. You were hiding from me very well, no avail I was searching for you.

\- What do you want from me? – Dean has asked this question from himself a million times. What does this guy want from him? He already got him once, moreover twice. What does he still want?

\- Isn't it obvious? Dean, I'm not used to people say no to me. I usually get everything what I want. Except you. And this is annoying me. That's what I'd like to talk about with you. Get a cab and go! I'm gonna send you the address in a text message soon. Do you understand?

\- I wanna talk to him – Dean tries thinking clear-headed. He doesn't want Alastair to trap him, and he has to know if Cas is alright.

\- Your precious is not with me right now. If you wanna see him alive, do as I told you. Isn't his cell-phone enough evidence?

\- How do I know if he's still alive?

\- Dean, Dean, Dean… what do you think I am? Some soulless monster?

\- You don't want me to answer this, do you?

\- Watch your mouth! – Alastair's smarmy tone becomes threatening. – I'm a businessman not a murderer. But I'm merciless in business. I wanna make a deal with you, and for this negotiation I need a claim. Castiel is alive but if you're fussing with me onwards, you're not gonna get him back the same way you saw him last time. Am I clear?

\- Yes – Dean swallows hard and he's sitting on the bed without a move, starint at his phone. His eyes are filled with tears and he bows his head. He knew that his destiny will catch him up, but he never thought this soon. He stands up, takes his jacket and steps out on the door.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cas head is pounding and when he opens his eyes he sees only hazy shadows. It's hard for him to remember what happened, how he got… where the hell is he anyway? As he begins to focus, the interior of a warehouse evolves in front of him. Empty, airy and widely disgruntled. He wants to move, but sharp pain radiates through his head and both shoulders. Soon he tumbles to his arms are tied up above his head and tackled to a beam on the ceiling. His legs hardly catch the floor, his shoulders are terribly tensed, he barely feel anything already. He moans loudly as he raise his head and looks around slowly. A figure steps out of the shadow and heads towards him. Cas tenses, he doesn't know who the man is, but he doesn't expects too much from someone who beat him down sneakly and now hangs him down from the ceiling.

\- Are you up, gorgeous? – hisses Alastair.

Cas knows immediately that he's dead. It was a narrow shave the last time they met, and that was only due to Dean. And he left him for this. The recognition, that instead of gratitude he broke the man's heart, he was waiting for all his life, works on him like a cold shower. Even colder than the nearness of death. Though Dean isn't here. And Cas is very grateful for that.

\- Great – Alastair goes on, while he starts circling around Cas. – Now, we are waiting for your little lover, just you and I. I've already talked to him and he really wants to join our club. – The lean man stops right in front of Cas, way too close in his personal space, almost pressed to his chest. Cas tries to flinch away but Alastair grabs his jaw and turns him face to face.

\- What do you think about a threesome, huh? I'm sure that Dean is in practice with that. You could be in the middle. I let you fuck Dean's sweet little ass, but you're mine then. So, what do you say?

\- Screw you! – Cas grunts the words hard, he looks though straight into Alastair's eyes. – You never get him, soever you keep trying. You can do anything, you already lose. Because Dean is mine! – Cas doesn't know even himself, where he got the courage from, to look into a psycho's face and provoke him further. He feels the weight of his words soon, when Alastair releases his jaw and backhands Cas square on his cheek. He loses his balance from the force of the smack, his legs tremble and his shoulders strain even more. A painful cry leave his throat and tries to get back his poise.

Alastair takes a grip of Cas' hair and tugs up his head to stare right into his eyes.

\- I suggest you to hold back your horses if you wanna see your princess again – he hisses. Cas represses his desire to spit into the man's face, who masses in front of him, so he stays in silence clenching his jaw. And he cowers.

The memories of the last treat lives intensely in him, and can't decide what was worst: when Alastair was beating, raping and bruising him or when he had to watch that he was doing these things with Dean.

\- When Dean arrives – Alastair starts speaking again on a calm voice – Because he will come, you know that, right? So when he arrives, I tie him up and force him to watch when I fuck you hard. I want him to beg me for doing it with him instead. I wanna break him, and tread him into the ground, but not just bodily. I turn him into an obedient slave. The little slut is gonna learn that noone can messes with me.

Cas' body tenses every time Alastair gets close to him. He feels the rage grows more and more in the lean man. He's really obsessed with Dean and that fact fills Cas with panic fear. He only prays wordlessly for Dean to have some plan.

Dean gets out of the cab on the brink of an abandoned industrial site as Alastair ordered. He strolls towards the directed place without hestitation. He didn't call the police. It would take too much time, and on the other hand he was terrified from the possibility of Alastair killing Cas if he gets wind of the police's coming.

He opens the door of the warehouse quietly, takes a deep breath and enters. He notices Cas from far, standing in the middle of the area. His hands are bounded above his head and hangs limp on the end of the rope. There's no sign of Alastair.

Dean rushes towards Cas who is barely conscious. His face is tortured and tired, but aside from a pair of red marks from the slaps he is fine. At least he seems to be fine. Dean raises Cas' head gently and starts wakening him:

\- Cas, - he whispers on trembling voice – Cas, wake up! C'mon, I take you home.

Dean gets out his knife from the hippocket of his jeans. He always carries it with him, thank for the long nights spent on the street. He starts cutting the rope above Cas tied hands, when Cas slowly opens his eyes and focuses hardly on the figure standing in front of him.

\- Dean? – he moans.

\- Yeah, baby! Don't you worry, I'm here. We're going home now.

\- It's a… tra… trap – he stutters, his mouth is dry, his voice is low and hoarse.

\- I know. I know but I had to risk it. I couldn't leave you alone.

\- That's what I hoped for – Dean hears the hissing voice right behind his back.

Before he could cut through the rope, Dean turns around quickly to attack Alastair with the knife, but the only thing he can feel is a massive punch across his cheek. Alastair's fist strikes on him like a hammer and he crashes helplessly to the ground. He has time only to glance up at Cas who's jerking desperatley on the rope and tries to kick Alastair. But he already towers above him and slams his fist into his face again. The world darkens around Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be a little bit longer (being the penultimate), so it will take more time, but I update as soon as I can.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I wanted to update a longer chapter, but it ended up posted in two. Work, kids, household, I don’t have enough time to finish it and I don’t wanna keep you waiting so long.   
> So instead of one long chapter you get two shorter.  
> I hope you don’t mind.  
> WARNING!  
> This chapter contains really violent scenes! Please, consider it before reading.  
>  Thank you!

Dean's head pounds, feels the blood pouring on his cheek and his wrists hurt terribly. He lifts his head slowly and tries to focus. He only sees hazy spots, but he knows right away, where he is and what to expect. He counted on it would happen. He knew that he wouldn't have too many chance to knock off Alastair at first, because he had Cas and Dean couldn't risk him to get hurt. When he found Cas alone in the warehouse, hope pops up its head, he didn't believe though that it would be so easy. Life is not so merciful. Find the love of your life than lose him, and find him again, that was already faboulos enough. To keep it that way… it needs a miracle.

Things slowly start to be outlined. He sits tied up to a chair. His arms are bounded by his wrists to the armrest so tight, the rope almost cuts into the flesh. His legs are tackled to the chairleg. Alastair was really substantial. Dean wears only his jeans and a t-shirt. Alastair took off of him everything else and Dean starts feeling the chill of the unheated place. His bare feet freeze on the cold concrete floor. He looks up Cas with his eyes, who cuts a sorry figure. He doesn't wear his jacket either but at least he has his shoes and a thin long-sleeved shirt to warm his body just a little. Dean doesn't know how long exactly Cas has been in this position but he assumes it's been hours, and the thin cloths wouldn't help much on his state. The hung up position makes it even worst. Cas is conscious, shivering though, and looks at Dean as he comes to, with a worried expression on his face.

Dean starts sensing other things around him, and catches sight of Alastair who's walking up and down slowly beetwen them. When he notices that Dean's awake he strolls over and slaps him by the face without a word. Dean's head slams to the side and a low groan escapes his throat. He's still dizzy from the first punch when the other follows it right off. Then another. His mouth fills with blood and he sees dimly as Cas wriths in silence, the mix of pain and rage strains his face. Noone says a word. Eventually, after a few punches Alastair grabs Dean by the hair and tugs up his head to look right into his eyes, and kisses him hardly.

\- Hello Dean – he says smiling – I missed you, you know that, right? Though your goodbye was really rude last time, I could hardly wait for seeing you again. You hid well from me. I knew where to find sweet Cassie but I noticed that you two weren't together already. It didn't make any sense to knock him off. I was waiting for the day, you finally found each other, so he could lead me to you.

\- Fine, you found me – Dean grunts. He decided not break, whatever Alastair is keeping for him. – Let him go! You want me! Take your revenge on me, but leave him out of this.

\- Dean, Dean, Dean – Alastair's long fingers still grip Dean's hair while he grabs his jaw firmly. – You still don't understand, do you? Revenge is just a part of what we're here for. I torture you in body and soul untill you won't have any sound parts. I have my tools to break your body – he points towards a little cart, Dean hasn't noticed yet it's there, and now he still doesn't see exactly what's on it, but panic starts growing in him, – but I need your little precious to lacerate your soul. Because I know, you don't prize yourself too much, but him… well you would give everything for him. I won't ask though, simply take everything from you, nice and slow, and I'm gonna bath in your pain. I slit his wrists and leave him here. As to you… I'm gonna drug you and take you to a place where noone will find you. Not if anyone would look for you. And we're gonna spend long and nice years together. It's up to you how much it will give you pain. You can even enjoy it as well if you are submissive.

The longer Alastair speaks the more Dean feels sheer dread, desperation and anger.

\- Fuck yourself – he blurts out bitterly and spits the blood in his mouth into Alastair's face.

The lean man's face is contorted with wrath, he releases Dean's hair and slaps him in his face with a sudden move so hard that Dean blacks out for a second. Though just for a second. In the next moment Alastair flushes a bucket of icy water into Dean's face. Dean is short of breath, he is already freezing and the chilling water is just cream on the cake. And what he sees after he blinks the water out of his eyes, just makes it worst.

\- No – he whispers when he watches Alastair pulls of a baseball bat from the cart and twirling it loosely in his hands as he walks over in front of Cas.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cas barely feels his arms, they almost pop out of their sockets. The marks of the slaps burn on his cheeks and he feels pretty cold, and yet he suspects that it's still nothing to what comes next. He suffers desperately from the sight in front of him. Dean shivers under his breath, the icy water soaks his clothes, his mouth is almost blue already. His face is full of bruises, his gaze isn't desperate though. It's furious. Even when Alastair grabs the bat and strolls towards Cas. Cas is staring at Dean, and tries to lock out the man who stops in front of him now, swaying the bat. He prepares himself for the blow, he has no idea though what to expect. He has been never beaten before like this. Honestly never been beaten any other ways, the one and only person who whacked him was Alastair himself.

He sees as Alastair lifts the bat, and sees that Dean starts screaming in agony and bends forward in the chair. He shut his eyes and in the following moment he feels such pain, he never felt before. The blow strikes on his knee, which probably snaps right off. The dark behind his closed eyes starts flashing with white lights and he hears his own scream. He thrusts his head back, his shoulders tense even more and then he goes limp on the rope. His legs don't keep his weight anymore, he feels like blacking out in no time.

\- You fucking animal! – he hears Dean's sobing cries – you sadistic prick! I'll kill you, get that? I won't miss again! I'm gonna kill you, you son of a bitch!

Cas opens his eyes to see if it's really Dean who sits on that chair in front of him. He never saw such a wrath and determination in Dean like this. There's no sign of surrender or sacrifice. He sees through his tears that Alastair steps to Dean and punches him a couple of times untill Dean stills in silence.

\- You should learn a little polish and show me respect – he says while tugs up Dean's head again by his hair. – And you should use your beautiful mouth for a better purpose. We missed foreplay the last time anyway. How about we make it up now?

Alastair pulls off his zipper with his free hand and takes his already half-hard member out. Cas closes his eyes. Doesn't want to see as this sick psycho shoves his dick into his lovers mouth. But he doesn't want to leave Dean alone either with excluding reality. He opens his eyes and searches for Dean with his gaze. Dean though, doesn't want take a glance at him. He looks at Alastair with lightening eyes refering without words to Alastair, that if he puts his dick into Dean's mouth, that doesn't gonna end well for him. Alastair reads in Dean's look because he pulls his knife out of his pocket and presses it to the boy's neck.

\- If I notice for once, you use your teeth, I tip over my plans and slit your throat immediately, you understand that? And now, open up!

Dean's determination vanishes from his eyes right off. He casts down his eyes in shame, while Alastair yanks his head and shoves his dick into Dean's mouth.

Cas tries to make an eye-contact with Dean, no avail. Dean doesn't look at him, while Alastair fucks his face rhythmically, taking up a wilder pace. Dean squeezes his eyes shut as Alastair keeps yanking his head by gripping his hair. Meanwhile the sharp, stitching pain slowly fades away from his knees, just to give place for the continuous, dull ache. He still can't stand on his hurting leg, but manages to prop himself with the other, relieving the strain in his shoulders.

\- Oh, Dean – Alastair moans – I love the way you make me remember why I want you so much. I discover this time that all this upturn is worth it. But we can't finish it this way now, I have things to do – Therewith he pulls out from Dean's mouth and releases his hair. – Since you are sitting on your precious treausure, I have to content with someone else's hole.

\- No! Leave him alone! – Dean gasps, his lips are red and swollen from the shaft, forced into it, and his voice is hoarse from the tortured vocal cords.

\- Oh, c'mon, Dean, you don't think you can get off so cheap, do you? – he slowly walks to Cas who tenses more and more with every step Alastair takes.

Alastair stops behind Cas, reaches over and grabs Cas' jaw while he hisses into his ear:

\- I couldn't end what I've started last time though. Dean interrupted us, didn't he? In turn what I felt was pretty sweet enough.

\- Don't touch me! Let me go! – Cas protests, trying to untangle himself from Alastair's grip, but pain shoots through his knees with every move.

He feels as the man pulls off his pants imperatively, and feels his hard dick touches the curve of his ass. Then Alastair stuffs some kind of rag into his mouth and panic overcomes him. At this moment he catches Dean's sight.

Dean stares into Cas' eyes. There is no despair in him or anger. He knows that he can't do anything against it. He knows that Alastair is gonna do it to Cas and maybe his whole body is shaking with rage in vain, it doesn't help Cas though. He has to stay calm to calm him. It's just a fuck after all. He knows that Cas isn't used to that a stranger thrusts his dick into him against his will but eventually that draws down with the least physical pain. And if they survive this whole mess, he will help him getting over with the mental jolt. He just has to calm down.

\- Cas – he speaks, his voice is soft and still, it shivers from the cold though. Cas glances at Dean through his tears and their eyes meet. – Cas, I'm here. Everything's gonna be okay. You'll be fine. I swear. I love you.

Alastair penetrates Cas who squeezes his eyes shut, thrust his head back and screams. Or rather would scream, but only a muffled moan escapes his throat through the rag shoved into his mouth.

\- Cas, look at me! – Dean shouts and sees that Cas opens his eyes slowly, looks at Dean and blinks a several times rapidly to get rid of his tears. – Cas, I'm here with you! You just have to look at me no matter what, get that? – Cas nods vaguely. – I know it's hard but try to lock him out. Focus only on me, Cas!

\- Geez, Deano – says Alastair from behind Cas – you're really a knight. But that won't keep me from fucking your little Castiel's sweet ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to interrupt at this part, but as I mentioned above, I'm not wonder-woman and have no enough time. The waves are slowly clashing above my head.
> 
> I'll be as quick as I can with the next.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	13. Chapter 13

Alastair grabs Cas' hips so hard, his fingertips leave marks on his skin and starts thrusting into him vigorously. Cas lets out a shudering whimper, but his eyes don't leave Dean's this time. Dean tries to stay calm but he is screaming inside. He feels the bile is coming up in his throat, but he knows he can't throw up now. He can't. Now he has to be the strong one. Even if he can't save Cas from this horror, but he may can give him strenght to survive. In spite of all his determination, tears start falling from his eyes just like Cas' face is bathing in tears. They stare into each others eyes and they know from one sight that they are thinking the same thing: however this whole mess ends, the few months of happiness, they got, is worth everything.

\- I love you Cas – Dean whispers, and it's getting harder and harder to control himself, when he sees that Alastair bites into Cas' neck and pounds into him wilder.

Cas cries out in pain when Alastair bites him and chokes from the rag in his mouth.

\- It's almost over – Dean tries to soothe him, altough he knows that these are just empty words, and knows that Cas knows it too. He already be acquainted with Alastair's expressions he learned them for a lifetime.

Alastair thrusts some more into Cas than releases his grip. He looks straight into Dean's eyes with a sarky grin on his face. Dean knows well, they don't escape with this, he just wants Alastair to leave Cas alone.

\- You fucking, sick asshole! – he grunts – Is that all, you are capable of? Gratify your perversion on a helpless man? Untie me and I'm gonna rip your heart out with my bare hands.

\- Now-now, Dean – Alastair raises his hand – Be carefull what you say. Don't forget, you ARE tied up, and you have something to lose. – He turns to Cas then – Did you enjoy it as much as I did?

Cas squints to Alastair from the corner of his eye and tries to pull away when Alastair reaches out and grabs Cas' groin with a rough move. Cas shuts his eyes, swallows and shudders.

\- Well, Castiel! You're cock is totally soft. Aren't you up to be at least half-hard? You must know though, Dean likes it this way, hard and brutal…

\- Fuck you! – Dean interrupts him. There is no sign of defeat or despair in his voice. – Maybe he isn't hard because pain doesn't turn him on!

\- Come on Dean! It wasn't even close to pain. Not even like that, that Castiel isn't as well-prepared as your sweet ass. That could be – at most – uncomfortable. Pain is… - he slowly strolls over to the cart and lifts up a white-hot fire-poker from it – totaly different.

\- No! – Dean understands immediately what is about Alastair to do, and he knows now, that it was unfortunate to provoke him. – Don't do it!

Alastair though presses the poker to Cas' thigh with a grin on his face and the air is filled with the smell of burning flash. Dean doesn't know whose scream is louder. Cas' voice is horrible even through the deadening of the rag. His muscles tense and tries to escape from the burning pain, no avail. Then Alastair pulls away the poker from Cas' thigh and throws it on the cart. He drags up Cas' pants and steps to Dean, grabbing his hair and hisses into his face:

\- There are things lot more worst, waiting for him, if you won't take back from your stubbornness, little Deano. – He releases his hair and backhands him with almost the same move. – But don't worry, I've done with him for a little while. Now, it's your turn.

Dean lifts his head hardly and looks into Alastair's face. Yes, he is affraid of him, affraid of what this prick is going to do to him, but whatever it is, it won't be near as painful as watching helplessly as he rapes the man he's in love with. So he stills in silence. He learned his lesson quickly, that every single bravado makes it worst for Cas.

\- Well, Dean – he starts talking on a smarmy voice, which makes the hair on Dean's nape stand on. – I'm sated for a while now, but I'm affraid poor Cassie didn't enjoy it so much. As I told you once, I'd really like to watch as two such a beautiful guys suck each other's dick. You are already in practice, Dean, so you go first. Give a blowjob to your little love. But make him enjoy it, let me see the pleasure on him, or else I will handle you both.

\- You're sick – Dean can't hold himself back. Not this! He won't do it. It's not gonna be him who humiliate Cas. He'd rather die, but won't do this.

\- What did you say? I couldn't hear you well.

\- I'm not doing this! You can't make me!

\- Oh, sure I can! – he says, and grabs Dean's tied wrist with one hand and with the other he snaps Dean's little finger with one single move.

\- Aaaaw, you fucker – Dean cries out, which is followed by another crack, and Dean's ring finger is broken too. – You sadistic, pervert animal – he grunts.

\- You can keep saying that, Dean, you have plenty of fingers left. – smiles Alastair and breaks the next finger,then the other, and again, until there is no unhurt finger on Dean's left hand.

Dean nearly loses his mind from the pain, he can barely even let a sound out of his throat, he is so hoarse from screaming. He doesn't curse already, says nothing, except one single word as an answer to Alastair's question:

\- No.

\- Come on, Dean, you would enjoy it yourself. Altough, slowly there isn't a single finger left on your hands to catch his beautiful cock with. Anyway, you're doing it great without hands, aren't you – therewith he breaks one more finger, on his right hand, this time.

Dean endures two more snaps, but gives up at the next finger. He can't take it anymore.

\- Alright, okay, I'll do it! – he shouts when Alastair grabs his forefinger. – I'll do it, just stop… please! It's enough!

\- I knew I could convince you eventually.

Dean doesn't dare look into Alastair's eyes. He wants to spit at himself but he can't bear the cracks, the pain anymore. He bows his head and mumbles sobbing almost only to himself.

\- I'm sorry Cas! Please… I'm sorry.

\- Dean – as soon as Dean hears Cas' broken voice, his head snaps up. He stares at him and notices that Alastair took the rag out of his mouth. The pervert fucker. What does he rely on? – Dean, it's okay. Everything's gonna be okay. I love you!

\- My heart's breaking – Alstair says mockingly – leave the hallmark, it's porn time. And I suggest to go at it hard. And then – he strokes Dean's face who tries to turn his head from the touch, but Alastair grips his jaw firmly – if you turn me on enough, I'm gonna fuck you too, Dean. Here on the ground. I'm gonna lay you face down and pound into you until you black out. And then… we will se. I'm having fun, anyway.

Alastair pulls out Dean's knife from his pocket and cuts his restrains. He grabs the tortured boy by the collar of his shirt, drags him in front of Cas and shoves him on his knees. Dean's face gets in level with Cas' groin. In a different case, Dean would love this position, take Cas into his mouth and suck him until he's going crazy. But now, he would give everything not to do this. He doesn't wanna humiliate Cas or himself and the last thing he wants to do is turning Alastair on.

He feels the squeeze of Alastair's heavy grip as he pushes him forward.

Dean is on the egde of his tolerance. He's shaking with cold terribly, his teeth almost grits from shuddering. His face burns and the pain in his arms is almost unbearable. As he is kneeling in front of Cas, wet and shivering, broken and mortified, he's slowly giving up hope.

He glances up at Cas who looks back at him with painful features and sad eyes. Dean though notices something in his sight, which makes his whole body filled with warmth, and from somewhere, deep inside a new strenght bursts to the surface. Pure love is glowing in Cas eyes. Dean's heart skips a beat, it's still unbelievable to him, that there can be someone who loves him that much. And the power, breaks free from the deep, coursing through his muscles and makes him react instinctively.

When Alastair leans above him to whisper in his ear, Dean throws his head back and hits the man on his nose. Alastair staggers backward, so Dean has time to stand up and jump on him. There is just a little strenght in the move, but enough to tackle him to the ground. Dean can't use his hands but stands up again rapidly and kicks the lean man twice on his ribs with such force as he has. Then he leaves him on the floor and grabs up his knife from the cart. He freezes and hisses from the sudden move of his broken fingers, then his instinct wins over his body. He knows that this is their only chance. This is Cas' only chance. He rushes to him and starts cutting the thick rope. Cas pulls it down with all the strenght left in his body, and Dean almost manages to cut it through when Cas starts screaming. In the next moment Dean feels as Alastair grasps his neck from behind and throws him aside with one move.

Dean sees Alastair backhands cas who goes limp on the rope. Dean tries to crawl away from the wrathful man, but he is on him in no time. Alastair kicks Dean in his stomach so hard, it makes Dean sprawl on the ground. The first kick is followed by at least three, Dean doesn't count, just gasp for air desperately. Alastair grabs him byhis shirt, tugs him up and shoves him into the wall in a sitting position.

\- Dean, Dean – he hisses – you can't learn your lesson, can you? I can see now, I have only problems with you. I wanted you so much to be my slave, my bed-pan, but you seem to be a tough nut to crack and I would have only issues with you. I guess I change my plan and rahter take Castiel with me. He's not so stubborn than you.

Dean tries to hit Alastair's arm aside, to break free from the grasp but he's out of strenght by now. Alastair's fist slams into his face again and Dean gives up. He can see from the corner of his eye that something glints in Alastair's hand before it smites down. He feels burning pain around his stomach then falls into darkness.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cas falls into half-consciousness when Alastair hits him. His vision is blurred and feels pain in every inch of his body, seems like he can't move, not even a bit. Then his sight's getting clear after a few seconds and he sees that Alastair is kicking Dean on the ground. He knows in that damn second that their lives is in his hands now. He can't give up, he has to react. He summons up all his strenght and starts pulling the rope. Dean almost cut it through, it doesn't need too much effort to break away.

Alastair is taking up with Dean right now, and doesn't give a rat's ass about Cas' actions, when he managed to tear the rope and falls to the ground helplessly.

Cas is sitting on the floor, succumbed for a minute, then he sees that Alastair grabs Dean's knife, which is lying on the floor and smites with it. He threws himself screaming at him, but it's too late. Dean collapses and when Alastair lets him go, he tumbles aside unconscious. The knife in Alastair's fist is bloody and Dean's shirt is soaked in a heartbeat.

Cas jumps behind Alastair and grabs his neck in a loop with his still tied hands, and clenches it hard. Alastair, being unprepared for the attack, tries to stab Cas, and backing towards the wall, he thrust him to the concrete surface a couple of times. But no avail. Cas doesn't let loose on his grip, not even for a moment, and after a while he feels that Alastair is getting out of his force. They are already lying on the ground, Alastair's lying supine on Cas' chest and kicking out. Cas' eyes are burning wildly, and doesn't look towards Dean on purpose, being affraid of he would weaken from the sight. And he can't risk that. This man has to die here and now or else they can never live in peace. Because they will live, he knows it for sure. Both Dean and he, together forever.

The movelessness of Alastair casts him out of his thoughts. He doesn't loose on the rope but looks at Alastair's face carefully. The man's eyes are goggled and his tongue almost lolls out of his mouth. He is dead.

Cas releases his neck and pushes the dead body away. Dean's jacket is on the floor not too far away, so he crawls to it and takes Dean's cell-phone out of the pocket. He heard earlier when Alastair told Dean, he would send the address of the warehouse in a text message. Cas really hopes, Dean didn't delete it, because Cas has no idea where they are. When he sees the message with the address, he is relieved for a moment and calls 911. He still doesn't take a look at Dean.

He thinks the later he looks at him, the later he has to face with the cruel reality. He drops the phone eventually and crawls to Dean's still frame. He leans to the wall and pulls the ice-cold body into his lap, puts an arm around his chest and buries his face into Dean's shoulder. Dean's head stays still on Cas' shoulder, he is barely breathing. Cas looks at the tortured face through his tears, but he can't see anything else but that beautiful man, who got into his car on the street about six months ago.

Cas kisses Dean's neck and starts sobbing. The violance, the broken knee, the burning wound on his thigh is nothing to the pain he feels now. He wants to scream but has no enough strenght for it. As he sit on the cold ground, embracing the love of his life, he almost feels as life slips away from Dean's body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is only one chapter left, and I will update it soon, but till then… no spoilers.
> 
> If you like it, let me know.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	14. Chapter 14

Dean has been unconscious for four days. Doctors told Cas to prepare himself to the possibilty of Dean may never wake up. But doctors know nothing. They don't know that how much Dean loves him and wants to be with him. He won't leave Cas alone. He will come back to him.

Cas is sitting beside Dean's bed from dawn till dusk. His broken knee is in plaster, resting stretched out in a wheel-chair. Ironic. The image was the same just a few month ago, conversely. Altough Cas wasn't in coma. Alastair's knife hit Dean on his stomach and paramedic got to place after a long time. Dean had to be reanimated right there, after his heart stopped just a few minutes before the paramedic arrived. Then once again in the ambulance-car. And despite all this he's still here and his heart's beating. He's just resting.

Cas hardly senses the world surrounding him, doctors and nurses come and go. Dean's brother, Sam, also comes to the hospital, even Bobby visites him at least once a day. Cas just sits there and smooths Dean's hand. He is talking to him about what they are gonna do when Dean wakes they go to Vermont and if it's really as a beautiful and calm place as it's told, maybe they can even move there.

Doctors suggest Sam to cut off Dean from the machines, since he doesn't have much chance to recover. One glance at Cas' imploring face is enough to Sam to refuse this option. Dean did everything for Sam to have a life he lives now, and he owes him that much not to give up on him now, when he finally found his normal life. So they keep waiting.

On the fifth day Cas is talking to Dean about he wants to keep a cat by all means, and he knows that Dean will argue with him about it, that he wants a dog, so probably their house will be a cat-and-dog house, but Cas is ok with a turtle or even a ferret.

\- Imagine what a chaos would they do around the house every day. Just like kids. And in the evening when they calm down we would sit in the living-room in front of the fire-place. You could put you legs on the coffe table if you want. We would drink beer, watch TV. Or rather You watch TV and I read meanwhile. And we would make love every night at the hearth just like the other day. Or anywhere in the house. Outside in the garden under the stars, or in the shower, anywhere. And we would eat our breakfast together in the morning and would depart to go to work together. I would think about you all day, that where you are and what you're doing and wether you think of me or not, altough I know you would. And when I concentrate to my work, you are still there in an ambushed piece of my mind. We can do this, Dean. Together forever. All you have to do is open your eyes. Please, open your eyes. I have to see it, understand? Dean, I don't wanna live without you. It was the mistake of my life when I let you go. I didn't realize how much my life is empty until I didn't met you. You gave meaning to my life. Please… don't go.

Tears are burning Cas' eyes but he stays strong. He can't break down, he has to make Dean stay here. His fingertips touch Dean's ones of his plastered hand, and Cas stares out of the window with an empty gaze. Suddenly he feels, that something is strange. Like something is different, changed. Then he figures out. Dean's hand stirs under his. One of his fingers smooths on Cas hand very weakly but knowingly.

The next day Dean wakes up.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1 Year later

\- Chuck! Leave Michael alone, right now! – Cas is shouting in the house. – Look, what you did, you… how will I bait him out?

\- Cas, your cat is a trouble-maker, please don't deduce your frustration on the dog – Dean laughs as he stands against the Chevy Impala, he got as a gift from Bobby, and waits for Cas finally finding the cat and get him out from the house.

\- Chuck is always obsessing him – Cas argues when he finally appears in the door with a large black cat in his arms.

\- Just because Mike provokes him all the time.

\- Maybe he's pissed because you keep calling him Mike – joshes Cas as he puts the cat into a cat-basket on the terrace and heads toward Dean.

Dean is about to get in the car, when Cas catches his wrist and pulls him back. He presses Dean to the door of the car and kisses him. Long and passionately.

\- Cas, I'll be late from work – Dean whispers when Cas breaks the kiss.

\- No, you won't. Just a few minutes – he moans into his ears on a raspy voice.

Dean feels Cas hard shaft as he grinds against his. He should be in a hurry but his cock is also starts hardening by now.

\- Ok, I don't mind. Garage?

\- No, I wanna fuck you right here.

\- Here? Cas, anyone can see us!

\- The more exciting! And every neighbour left already. Plus, that's the benefit of country-life. There's no crowd.

Cas reaches down and starts rubbing gently Dean's half-hard cock. It doesn't take too much time for Dean to lose his self-control. He digs his fingers in Cas' hair at his nape and pulls him into a passionate kiss. He grabs Cas' belt and after a second, Cas' pants falls down to his knees. Cas does the same with Dean, then he turns him around with one quick move and bents him on the hood of the car. Dean groans loudly when all air escapes his lunges, but Cas doesn't waste any minute, presses Dean's hands to the hood and shoves his dick into Dean hard. Dean stands his legs spreading wide and moans with lust at every single thrust. After a few minutes Cas reaches upfront, takes Dean's cock in his hand and begins to jerk him off with the same space as he fucks him into the side of the car. Dean presses his forehead to the cool surface of the Impala and comes. Cas thrusts two more and falls panting on Dean's back.

Dean feels the weight of Cas' body and suddenly warm arms slide across his chest and hold him tight.

\- Thank you, Dean! – Cas whispers in his ears, pressing hot kiss on his neck.

\- For what?

\- Staying with me.

Dean swallows hard, tears burn his eyes.

\- You know I would never leave you. I love you. And knowing that you love me too, gave me strenght like nothing else. You brought me back Cas, I'm here now, just because of you.

\- I know – Cas lets Dean go, straightens and pulls Dean with him.

They are kissing softly for a few more minutes, then get in the car and drive away. Dean sets Cas out at his store in the town and drive on.

It's early spring and the place is beautiful in this time of the year. The Sun shines brightly, trees are just getting burgeon. People are hurrying lively to their business, but keep smiling at each other, saying hello and talk even if just a few words. Laughing children are going to school and Dean can't shake off the feeling that he finds himself in a cheesy movie, where everyone is happy and perfect. He smiles widely as he cuts off the engine right in front of his yard.

He is happy and his life is perfect.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for everyone who read this story.
> 
> Destiel is a very important part of my life, and the ability to write a story myself and make enjoyable moments for you all, was a great pleasure.
> 
> I'm not planning to write another story soon, but who knows. Maybe the new season gives me a few ideas.
> 
> Take care yourself out there!


End file.
